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Posts Tagged ‘manifesto’

Hi-tech scanning reveals a third of Election promises to be empty

Using technology developed to see inside Egyptian Mummies the University of Manchester has discovered that a significant number of general election manifestos had no real substance and were in fact just ‘bundles of cloth, filled with mud and sticks’.

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Posted: May 11th, 2015
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Labour explains ‘tablet of stone’ plans for the Dawn of Miliband

'Jesus Christ - Moses didn't have the piss taken out of him!'Ed Miliband unveiled an eight foot stone slab, carved with all six of Ed’s Ten Commandments.

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Posted: May 3rd, 2015
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Party manifestos to be displayed in plain packets with government health warning

best to keep them away from childrenPoliticians will no longer be able to publicly advertise their manifestos and shops will be expected to keep them hidden away from view under the counter.

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2015
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Green Party to use ‘brain fade’ technique to develop all policies

but what about ebola pairs?Flushed with pride at a string of positive comments from members of her party after her ‘brain fade’ moment on TV, Natalie Bennett, leader of the Green Party, has now asked her colleagues to come up with yet more ‘creative and exciting’ policies by adopting the technique.

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Posted: Mar 1st, 2015
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‘Drunk Tanks’ to replace Government ‘Think Tanks’

won't remember a thing about his new initiative in the morningThe Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) has suggested that by monitoring the ‘alcohol induced’ ramblings of the ‘average Geordie’ in a ‘drunk tank’ Ministers could be provided with a range of inspired policy ideas.

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Posted: Sep 18th, 2013
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