Following the government’s ‘administrative mix up’ that led to the UK not taking part in Europe-wide tenders for ventilators, a number of conservative MPS have come forward to volunteer themselves to act as ventilators to ease the shortage. [read...]
Mark Francois, who friends said had been looking particularly supercilious and unbelievably smug since Friday, has transcended to a higher plane, it has been revealed. This morning his mortal body suddenly dissolved into a bright silver-blue gas before being blown to the four winds as ethereal voices whispered and sighed ‘BREXXXXXXXXIT…it…it…it…it…’ [read...]
With up to 150,000 Thomas Cook customers in danger of being stranded abroad, Tory MP, patriot and avid collector of beer mats, Mark Francois has called for a revival of the Dunkirk spirit. [read...]
Hurt that his recent attacks on German companies have gone unreported, Mark François, in a desperate bid to appear relevant has barricaded himself inside his WW2 Anderson Shelter.
His long suffering wife Maud, their cat Overlord, [read...]
As the 1922 Committee announced that Johnson had won the Conservative leadership concert, the delight and bliss experienced by hard Brexiteers that one of their own had finally secured the Premiership was so extreme that all true believers waiting to hear the results in Queen Elizabeth Hall immediately began to vibrate in a haze of light and ascend into heaven in individual beams of light, [read...]