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Posts Tagged ‘Marks and Spencer’

Woman refuses to give birth in Primark

not even the 50% off signs could tempt her inDespite being wracked with labour pains and hobbled by a small head erupting from her vagina, an unnamed 28-year-old woman from Birmingham has been hailed as a hero for resolutely refusing to be lulled by Primark’s promise of cut-price designer wear and give birth in the shop.

As her waters broke, her cervix dilated and her 25%-off voucher expired, the woman dragged herself away from the lure of a sale on floral dresses. Groaning as her membranes ruptured, every maternal instinct made her abandon a rail of bargain kids’ clothing in the hope that her child would be born to a better future, with better stitching.

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Posted: Jul 2nd, 2014
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Netto to offer other supermarket bags to save embarrassment

This is not just food, taste the differenceBudget supermarket chain Netto is to offer its customers other supermarket-named bags to spare the blushes of those now financially compelled to shop there.

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Posted: Oct 11th, 2010
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