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Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

Love doctors ‘working longer hours than ever’

Oooh! Carry on MatronThe NHS has come under fire after a Panorama programme showed that it is ‘systematically failing’ lovesick Britons by cutting the number of ‘leurve’ doctors trained to deliver emotional and erotic first aid.

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Posted: Aug 30th, 2014
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Straight men to push for ban on marriage between heterosexual couples

In the wake of gay marriage being legalised, straight men across the UK today called on politicians to vote for a ban on marriage between different sex couples. ‘It seems a fair swap,’ said spokesman Trevor Coshpot. ‘We were baffled enough when gay men fought tooth and nail to be allowed into the army, now they want to be married as well?’

The proposal aims to alleviate pressure on wedding venues and marriage counselling services by significantly reducing the number of people getting married.

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2014
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Man discovers he and his wife have been arguing for six days

‘To be honest, I don’t know what to do. If I tell her I didn’t even know, that will only exacerbate the situation.’

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Posted: Nov 7th, 2013
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Unholy row as Benedict returns to reclaim the papacy in time for Easter

Pope Benedict strode into St Peter’s Square yesterday, fully refreshed after his Lenten sabbatical and announced that he was ready to take the reins of the papacy once more. With a fresh ear piercing, his skull cap set back on his head at a jaunty angle and a giggling nun on each arm, it was clear that the break from the burden of office had taken years off the former pontiff as he vigorously shoved aside pilgrims on his way back to the Vatican.

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2013
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Judge orders divorcing couple give wedding guests their Saturday afternoon back

‘It is profoundly unjust that this couple are regaining the freedoms they enjoyed when they were single, while for their wedding guests the Saturday afternoon they spent at the ceremony and reception is lost forever.’

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Posted: Jan 2nd, 2013
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