Four UK water companies have lifted the last hosepipe bans, triggering calls by Britain’s husbands to introduce a lawnmower ban instead in order to prevent dangerous levels of nagging about the state of the nation’s gardens.
Posted: Jul 11th, 2012
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Jack and Winnie Sandford got married in 1933 and have been together 77 years, longer than anyone else on earth, but according to 98-year-old Jack it is a living hell. ‘Every morning I wake up and wish I was dead. Or better still she was.’
Posted: May 4th, 2012
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‘We first announced it with a double page heiroglyphic spread in the Christmas edition of Barker’s Confundulum. I know we’re not exactly Posh and Becks but we were disappointed not to get even one congratulatory sonnet,’ he said.
Posted: Mar 22nd, 2012
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‘The selfish trollop only married it so that it didn’t get repossessed. She owes £15,000 in mortgage arrears. I feel so sorry for any rooms they end up having.’
Posted: Feb 8th, 2012
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A father from Solihull has encountered a barrage of criticism after his long-suffering wife revealed that ‘chasing the children up the stairs on all fours going ‘Raarrr!!!’ every evening’ was his sole contribution to their upbringing. The nightly routine – which Dan Hurrell, 37, described as, ‘Just a bit of fun, that’s all’ – has, after six years, finally driven his wife, Debbie, to breaking point.
Posted: Sep 29th, 2011
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