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Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

Nation’s husbands call for lawnmower ban

oh, go on, please?!Four UK water companies have lifted the last hosepipe bans, triggering calls by Britain’s husbands to introduce a lawnmower ban instead in order to prevent dangerous levels of nagging about the state of the nation’s gardens.

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2012
More from UK News

World’s longest-married couple ‘only together for the sake of the kids’

Jack and Winnie Sandford got married in 1933 and have been together 77 years, longer than anyone else on earth, but according to 98-year-old Jack it is a living hell. ‘Every morning I wake up and wish I was dead. Or better still she was.’

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Posted: May 4th, 2012
More from Lifestyle

Mitchell and Coren admit they tried announcing engagement ‘for months’

‘We first announced it with a double page heiroglyphic spread in the Christmas edition of Barker’s Confundulum. I know we’re not exactly Posh and Becks but we were disappointed not to get even one congratulatory sonnet,’ he said.

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Posted: Mar 22nd, 2012
More from News In Brief

Woman marries her own house

‘The selfish trollop only married it so that it didn’t get repossessed. She owes £15,000 in mortgage arrears. I feel so sorry for any rooms they end up having.’

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Posted: Feb 8th, 2012
More from News In Brief

Comment: Why my first four marriages are the ideal preparation for a fifth

‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. (Nice try though, Cathy, if you’re reading this.) The important thing is always to learn from what life throws at you, and you don’t get hitched a third of a dozen times without picking up a few pointers along the way.’

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Posted: Sep 12th, 2011
More from Features