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Posts Tagged ‘masturbation’

Strict bedtime for young offenders to solve sperm shortage

A ruling by Justice Secretary Chris Grayling that from August all young offenders will have to be in their cells with lights out by 22:30 may solve the UK’s sperm shortage says the British Fertility Society, which said that this ‘may have untapped a major supply of sperm for us at a time of drastic shortages’.

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Posted: Jun 30th, 2014
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Google and Vatican team up to create ‘SoulView’

‘Basically, most internet users are going to Hell,’ said Page. ‘Yes, you, Arthur Bennett of Halifax, searching repeatedly for “hot nurse bending over in short dress”. Or you, Patrick Jenn of Islington, searching for “schoolgirl with big jugs in PE kit”. You people make me sick.’

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Posted: Dec 12th, 2013
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UK’s first hand transplant welcomed by nation’s wankers

‘I can lose up to 60 hours a year sitting on my hand to make it numb and feel like someone else’s. A transplant will not only save time, but if I could have a woman’s hand I won’t need to paint my nails every time.’

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Posted: Jan 4th, 2013
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