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Posts Tagged ‘Maths’

Aliens discovered on Earth, being educated at Eton

Maths professor Alan Daley has worked out the true cause of crop circles after his son started attending a minor public school in Kent and he began to delve into the complex maths of how public schools structure their fees.

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2014
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Britain to swap creepy PE teachers with China

As part of an exchange programme, Shanghai has agreed to import 60 British PE teachers in exchange for 60 of its finest Maths specialists. The Department for Education sees this as a golden opportunity to raise skill levels and teach China some new things.

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Posted: Mar 16th, 2014
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UK schools to revert to Roman numerals, announces Gove

In a move expected to be marginally less unpopular and unworkable than most of his other ideas, Michael Gove has announced that from 2014 UK schools will revert to teaching in Roman numerals.

The idea is the brainchild of a conservative think tank charged by the Education Secretary with charting the causes of the drastic decline in school standards in Britain since the withdrawal of the Roman Empire in 410 AD.

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Posted: Jun 18th, 2013
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Run away girl complains about teacher’s paperwork burden

Megan Stammers, the teenage girl who ran away with her teacher, has admitted that life with the 30 year old hadn’t proved to be quite as she had imagined.

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Posted: Oct 1st, 2012
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Alesha Dixon criticised for only giving ‘100% yes’ to Britain’s Got Talent contestant

Britain’s Got Talent judge Alesha Dixon has been labelled ‘evil’ by viewers after sending 9-year-old singer Malakai Paul through to the next round with a mere ‘100% yes’.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2012
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