So-called ‘languages’ are an ancient practical joke, it has been revealed.
‘It all started with the Romans’, said Professor Tim Williams of the University of Central England, itself also an elaborate hoax. [read...]
In a shock development, it has emerged that grade inflation has been happening for so long now that even top civil servants at the Department of Education, supposedly the cream of the crop, are functionally innumerate and can’t work out if the A-level pass rate is higher this year than last. [read...]
Maths professor Alan Daley has worked out the true cause of crop circles after his son started attending a minor public school in Kent and he began to delve into the complex maths of how public schools structure their fees. [read...]
As part of an exchange programme, Shanghai has agreed to import 60 British PE teachers in exchange for 60 of its finest Maths specialists. The Department for Education sees this as a golden opportunity to raise skill levels and teach China some new things. [read...]
In a move expected to be marginally less unpopular and unworkable than most of his other ideas, Michael Gove has announced that from 2014 UK schools will revert to teaching in Roman numerals.
The idea is the brainchild of a conservative think tank charged by the Education Secretary with charting the causes of the drastic decline in school standards in Britain since the withdrawal of the Roman Empire in 410 AD. [read...]
