Health Secretary Matt Hancock has said the rules surrounding eating a burger while simultaneously riding a bicycle will be relaxed as from the start of next week. Currently there are strict guidelines governing how cyclists should engage while riding a bicycle on UK highways. [read...]
Leader of the House Jacob Rees Mogg has announced that the contract to provide the Hansard transcript of proceedings of Parliament will be taken over with immediate effect and without a tender process by the on line film review site IMDb. [read...]
Following the success of COVID 19, and the Black Death’s recent reunion tour of Mongolia, the Smallpox virus has announced plans to come out of retirement for a series of dates this autumn. In a live stream on its Pathogens Reunited page the virus announced, [read...]
Not content with over-exaggerating the number of UK virus tests, Health Secretary Matt Hancock has claimed that any Covid-19 vaccine will enable patients to climb walls, shoot spider-webs and change their clothes in a phone box, [read...]
Self-driving autocrat Dominic Cummings is reported to be “f*cking apoplectic” on hearing of Stanley Johnson’s Bulgaria-hopping jaunt to his Greek villa in defiance of official guidance to; “Erm, probably not, unless you can?” In a challenge, [read...]
