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Posts Tagged ‘Max Clifford’

Celebrities ‘too scared to die’ in wake of Savile scandal

the show must go onFollowing the controversy, many famous people are avoiding death like the plague.

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Posted: Oct 22nd, 2014
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Rosetta to attempt first graffito of a penis in space

Initially it is planned that Rosetta will land a small probe capable of sketching a cartoon cock on the surface ‘as a statement as to the impermanence of life, art and snowballs in hell.’

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Posted: Aug 11th, 2014
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Celebrity prison to be open to the general public

The lay-out, based on London Zoo, will allow celebrities such as Max Clifford and Stuart Hall to be viewed through glass screens with visitors able to listen to recorded information regarding their offences, breeding habits and dietary needs.

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Posted: May 29th, 2014
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Max Clifford’s penis given own cell for protection

Prison officials have confirmed today that Max Clifford’s penis, Justin, has been segregated for his own safety and is undergoing assessment in the prison hospital wing after earlier being spotted looking bruised, ‘withdrawn’, and being sick in the showers.

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Posted: May 5th, 2014
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Max Clifford to take 8 years to update his autobiography

By popular request and judge’s order, the ironically infamous PR guru is to spend a ‘little longer than expected’ fleshing out the chapters of his even more ironically titled ‘Max Clifford: Read All About It’. His publisher has confirmed that the publicist will focus the next eight years on refining his narrative, peeling potatoes and ‘making nice with his cell mate’.

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Posted: May 3rd, 2014
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