A Number 10 civil servant said: ‘having a meaningful vote is pointless and, let’s face it, dull as f**k. We’re pretty sure this idea will shake things up and at least garner some public interest.’ [read...]
The Prime Minister has taken the unusual step of tying any meaningful Brexit decision to April 1st, to maximise levels of ridicule and mirth. Explained a spokeswoman for No. 10: ‘Regardless of the outcome, I think we can assume that the whole thing is a joke’ [read...]
Recent polls suggest that in any scenario all options on a ‘People’s’ ballot will be bad ones; ranging from having chilli sauce rubbed on your nether-regions, to eating a rubbery kangaroo penis or Theresa May’s Plan B. [read...]
Following her victory in the House of Commons and a determined resilience against what experts worldwide are calling an acute lack of self-awareness, Theresa May is said to be currently in talks with Netflix over a new Choose Your Own Adventure style TV series. [read...]
Theresa May announced plans tonight to spend the weekend redrafting her Brexit plan at an isolated hotel in the Canadian Rockies. The PM will head for the hotel on Friday, and is expected to spend the weekend hunched over a typewriter making ‘a few tweaks’ to the draft withdrawal agreement. [read...]
