Following her victory in the House of Commons and a determined resilience against what experts worldwide are calling an acute lack of self-awareness, Theresa May is said to be currently in talks with Netflix over a new Choose Your Own Adventure style TV series. [read...]
Ahead of local elections, the Prime Minister insisted that her catalogue of errors was due ‘dirty rhythm’ and ‘funky fever’. Voters should not blame her predicament on the sunshine, the moonlight or the good times (in the early 80s) – they should blame Jeremy Corbyn and Damien Green’s inability to delete his search history. [read...]
A Number 10 civil servant said: ‘having a meaningful vote is pointless and, let’s face it, dull as f**k. We’re pretty sure this idea will shake things up and at least garner some public interest.’ [read...]
The Prime Minister has taken the unusual step of tying any meaningful Brexit decision to April 1st, to maximise levels of ridicule and mirth. Explained a spokeswoman for No. 10: ‘Regardless of the outcome, I think we can assume that the whole thing is a joke’ [read...]
Recent polls suggest that in any scenario all options on a ‘People’s’ ballot will be bad ones; ranging from having chilli sauce rubbed on your nether-regions, to eating a rubbery kangaroo penis or Theresa May’s Plan B. [read...]
