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Posts Tagged ‘McDonalds’

‘Antimatter IRA’ new threat to national security, the structure of reality

The group is reported to have seized control of an inter-dimensional portal and is now intent on hurling random antimatter artefacts at ‘symbols of Unionist oppression’ in our reality. Due to the catastrophic relationship between matter and antimatter, these could be anything from sachets of McDonalds’ discontinued ‘Mild Mustard Sauce’ to pre-remastering Phil Collins CD reissues.

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Posted: Nov 4th, 2012
More from News In Brief


Thai police confirm arrest of ‘sex tourist’ Ronald McDonald

Missing food clown Ronald McDonald has finally been discovered, living a sick double-life in Bangkok. Thai police confirmed they’d arrested a 45 year-old with a fake Scottish passport, after a disturbance at an adult cinema. According to reports, the fugitive appeared dishevelled and stained with special sauce, and had refused to leave after propositioning a female member of staff to give him a ‘McShake’.

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Posted: Oct 6th, 2012
More from World News


Rats to take hard line against illegal imports

British rats are angry at news that unlicensed West African cane rat meat is for sale on market stalls in East London.

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Posted: Sep 21st, 2012
More from News In Brief


Post-Olympic bike sales increase sees wheelchair manufacturers bracing themselves

Following on from the large increase in bike sales instigated by Team GB’s cycling success at the Olympics, wheelchair manufacturers are bracing themselves for increased production should British Wheelchair racers have a similar level of dominance at the Paralympics.

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Posted: Aug 26th, 2012
More from Sport


McDonald’s to sponsor NHS says Andrew Lansley

‘A Big Mac injection might be all some sick people need to get them on their feet.’

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2012
More from News In Brief


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