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Post-Olympic bike sales increase sees wheelchair manufacturers bracing themselves
Rise in ginger hair dye anticipated [read...]
Tagged McDonalds
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McDonalds to scrap restaurants and focus on toilets
McDonalds has announced the closure of all 46 million of its food-serving ‘storefronts’ to focus on offering ‘degrading bathroom experience’s instead. While the sales of ankle-burgers and Chicken-McWaste nuggets have seen a steady decline for the past 19 years, [read...]
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High School Musical 4 ‘ruined’ by sound of gunfire
The Disney Corporation, producers of the High School Musical franchise, has responded to criticism that viewers were unable to hear any of the songs in the latest film over the sound of gunfire from the cafeteria next door. [read...]
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Obese man wins right to McDonalds bypass
Gastric band built around local branch [read...]
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‘Antimatter IRA’ new threat to national security, the structure of reality
The group is reported to have seized control of an inter-dimensional portal and is now intent on hurling random antimatter artefacts at ‘symbols of Unionist oppression’ in our reality. Due to the catastrophic relationship between matter and antimatter, [read...]