After watching his football heroes Neymar and Griezmann trying to force their clubs to sell them by not turning up to training, Jared Brown is refusing to turn up for his shifts at KFC in Peterborough in order to force through a transfer to the local McDonald’s. [read...]
A leaked document has caused concern that the apparently generous offer of money by McDonald’s to help rebuild Paris’s Notre Dame cathedral, recently damaged in a fire, may come with some conditions that critics say are ‘about as palatable as a Filet-o-Fish’. [read...]
Defence Minister Gavin Williamson’s mum says he’s scarcely able to control his excitement as cards have been sent out to his Tory chums, inviting them to attend ‘her little soldier’s’ upcoming birthday party in the Westminster branch of McDonald’s. [read...]
After years of genetic engineering experiments, scientists have perfected a cow whose meat is so depressingly bland that it has been approved for consumption by the Vegan Society. Their company is now considering starting a “quasi-vegetarian McDonald’s” [read...]
Bowing to environmental pressure and an increased demand for saturated fat, McDonalds will be allowing customers to inject, snort or smoke their ‘offal of choice’. There are various options, with some plastic straws being replaced by a more pragmatic mechanism for fast food delivery, [read...]
