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Posts Tagged ‘McDonalds’

High School Musical 4 ‘ruined’ by sound of gunfire

The Disney Corporation, producers of the High School Musical franchise, has responded to criticism that viewers were unable to hear any of the songs in the latest film over the sound of gunfire from the cafeteria next door. This is despite the merchandising plan for the film, which will see a free handgun given away with every McDonald’s Happy Meal.

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Posted: Oct 6th, 2015
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Obese man wins right to McDonalds bypass

I'm swervin' it Gastric band built around local branch

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Posted: Aug 21st, 2015
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‘Antimatter IRA’ new threat to national security, the structure of reality

The group is reported to have seized control of an inter-dimensional portal and is now intent on hurling random antimatter artefacts at ‘symbols of Unionist oppression’ in our reality. Due to the catastrophic relationship between matter and antimatter, these could be anything from sachets of McDonalds’ discontinued ‘Mild Mustard Sauce’ to pre-remastering Phil Collins CD reissues.

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Posted: Nov 4th, 2012
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Thai police confirm arrest of ‘sex tourist’ Ronald McDonald

Missing food clown Ronald McDonald has finally been discovered, living a sick double-life in Bangkok. Thai police confirmed they’d arrested a 45 year-old with a fake Scottish passport, after a disturbance at an adult cinema. According to reports, the fugitive appeared dishevelled and stained with special sauce, and had refused to leave after propositioning a female member of staff to give him a ‘McShake’.

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Posted: Oct 6th, 2012
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Rats to take hard line against illegal imports

British rats are angry at news that unlicensed West African cane rat meat is for sale on market stalls in East London.

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Posted: Sep 21st, 2012
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