McDonalds has announced the closure of all 46 million of its food-serving ‘storefronts’ to focus on offering ‘degrading bathroom experience’s instead. While the sales of ankle-burgers and Chicken-McWaste nuggets have seen a steady decline for the past 19 years, [read...]
The Disney Corporation, producers of the High School Musical franchise, has responded to criticism that viewers were unable to hear any of the songs in the latest film over the sound of gunfire from the cafeteria next door. [read...]
Gastric band built around local branch [read...]
The group is reported to have seized control of an inter-dimensional portal and is now intent on hurling random antimatter artefacts at ‘symbols of Unionist oppression’ in our reality. Due to the catastrophic relationship between matter and antimatter, [read...]
Missing food clown Ronald McDonald has finally been discovered, living a sick double-life in Bangkok. Thai police confirmed they’d arrested a 45 year-old with a fake Scottish passport, after a disturbance at an adult cinema. [read...]
