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Posts Tagged ‘media’

DLT grope threat linked to skirt length and turning up to work

BBC executives have discovered that there is a direct correlation between hemline and the groping machinations of their former employee. In fact, scientists are convinced that the infamous Unwelcome DLT Syndrome is also caused by chest size, gender and being in the vicinity of a hairy octopus.

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2014
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Families urged to stop being interviewed on horrible sofas

People in the news should refrain from appearing on television bulletins sitting on horrible sofas, says a social attitudes report.

Dr. Muriel Comfort of the Social Attitudes Foundation, said: ‘Typically, man and wife, or even the extended family, are interviewed in their lounge sitting on their horrible sofa, which makes it difficult for the viewer to concentrate on the interview. Instead, viewers are quite naturally busy denouncing the horrible sofa.’

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Posted: Jan 26th, 2014
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Mail Exclusive: Fury as lefties mourn dead foreign terrorist

There has been widespread anger as members of the British liberal-left elite have lined up to pay tributes to Nelson Mandela, a convicted Communist terrorist from South Africa.

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2013
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Daily Mail launches weekly hardcore supplement for left-wing high dudgeon addicts

every single bloody day‘All we have to do is run a headline like ‘How long till asylum seekers open their own terror training academies in the suburbs?’ and stand back and wait for the fireworks.’

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Posted: Nov 12th, 2013
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Churchill to take up role as new press watchdog

small print on page 34 will probably show you didn't have adequate cover‘I met him this morning to ask whether he supported a tougher form of self-regulation of the press with a robust statutory underpinning, and he nodded his head and said ‘Oooh yes’.’

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2013
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