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Posts Tagged ‘media’

Mary Berry begins filming gritty new spin-off show, ‘Baking Bad’

compulsive chewingBeloved pastry matriarch and national baking supremo Mary Berry is gearing up to swap her apron and eggs for a gas mask and concentrated methylamine this winter, after the BBC commissioned a gritty new primetime cookery spinoff competition to be titled ‘Baking Bad’.

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Posted: Oct 8th, 2014
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DLT grope threat linked to skirt length and turning up to work

BBC executives have discovered that there is a direct correlation between hemline and the groping machinations of their former employee. In fact, scientists are convinced that the infamous Unwelcome DLT Syndrome is also caused by chest size, gender and being in the vicinity of a hairy octopus.

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2014
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Families urged to stop being interviewed on horrible sofas

People in the news should refrain from appearing on television bulletins sitting on horrible sofas, says a social attitudes report.

Dr. Muriel Comfort of the Social Attitudes Foundation, said: ‘Typically, man and wife, or even the extended family, are interviewed in their lounge sitting on their horrible sofa, which makes it difficult for the viewer to concentrate on the interview. Instead, viewers are quite naturally busy denouncing the horrible sofa.’

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Posted: Jan 26th, 2014
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Mail Exclusive: Fury as lefties mourn dead foreign terrorist

There has been widespread anger as members of the British liberal-left elite have lined up to pay tributes to Nelson Mandela, a convicted Communist terrorist from South Africa.

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2013
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Daily Mail admits secretly fracking for vitriol after reserves run dry

balanced by other search for world's most adorable kitten, in a bikiniDespite raising fears about the impact of fracking, the Daily Mail has conceded that it embarked on its own secret fracking campaign after its reserves of vitriol began to run low.

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Posted: Jun 22nd, 2013
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