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Posts Tagged ‘medicine’

Revolutionary new placebo drug aimed at hypochondriac market

The composition of the latest wonder drug Amalingera is a tightly kept secret, but industry insiders say it’s a carefully-proportioned combination of sugar and food colouring, marketed in a packet covered in impressive-looking medical jargon.

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2013
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Alternative therapists hail new wonder drug treatments

In laboratory studies phenylephrine hydrochoride can unblock the chakra 37% more efficiently than shiatsu.

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Posted: May 26th, 2013
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Breakthrough as scientists confirm ‘everything in excess’ is bad for you

‘It appears that literally everything – from asparagus to zoom bars – can and probably will kill you if you excessively indulge in them,’ explained Dr Stevenson.

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2013
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‘We do judge you’ admit pharmacists

'I know everything. You disgust me.'Although sales assistants are trained to smile sympathetically at customers as though they’ve seen it all before, by the time someone leaves the shop staff will have reached a damning verdict on their character.

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Posted: Jun 6th, 2009
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New wonder-drug ‘totally ineffective against gunshot wounds’

In an emergency, tablets to be taken orallyVictims of gangland shootings were divided into three groups: the first was given Atryptosol, the second a placebo, and the final group received no medical assistance whatsoever. All died.

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2009
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