An urgent DNA test ordered by concerned White House staff after his address to the nation in fluent Mandarin, has proved that Donald Trump not only does has a secret Chinese bank account, but is also a fully paid-up member of the Communist party. [read...]
President Trump has denied widespread reports that he and Melania have contracted Covid-19, slamming them as being nothing more than “fake news in the continued witch hunt against him and his presidency.” Speaking to reporters from a Washington ICU bed he gasped: ‘Folks are saying (wheeze) I got (hacking cough) Covid-29. [read...]
A mood of sympathy for Donald Trump has swept the world. After The New York Times detonated the fiscal bombshell that the hardworking president only had enough money to pay $750 in tax, the shocked global community went into empathy overdrive. [read...]
1. Deliver inauguration speech promising to grab power by the pussy
2. Have Hillary, Bill and, oh yeah, Natasha and Ludmila (don’t ask) ‘mysteriously’ disappear
3. Finalise deal with Putin on co-overseeing Russia’s oil industry [read...]
