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Posts Tagged ‘mental health’

Major delays for depressives after abyss closed for essential repairs

sufferers being re-routed via city of UtopiaHighways Agency announced that the vast chasm of gloom has been closed in order to perform ‘essential maintenance work’.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2014
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Social workers to be fast-tracked to a nervous breakdown

best to get it over with quickly, says governmentGraduate trainee social workers will handle complex cases after five weeks and be well on the way to depression and a nervous breakdown within just two months, under a new fast-track training scheme unveiled today by the Government.

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Posted: May 17th, 2013
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Samaritans criticised for cold-calling campaign

Following a huge number of complaints to Ofcom, the national charity Samaritans has been criticized for embarking upon a cold calling campaign across the UK.

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Posted: Oct 17th, 2012
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OC/DC, world’s tidiest rock band, quits tour after prime-number of gigs

Their entourage is well-known for its ever-present dental hygienist and forensic bacteriologist, and their rider lists wet-wipes four times.

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Posted: Oct 14th, 2011
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New mental health campaign suggests Political Correctness ‘not mad, but bipolar’

A new advertising campaign is set to convince the public that Political Correctness, long thought to have ‘gone mad’, has in fact been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

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Posted: Aug 16th, 2009
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