NewsBiscuit

The bonfire set up at the UK treasury to celebrate Guy Fawkes night could burn for weeks if not months, insiders have revealed. The party, held in the basement, is a traditionally festive occasion with lots of Punch and Judy going on and massive fireworks when Gordon Brown gets told he can’t have another sparkler.

‘It’s wonderful isn’t it,’ said Chancellor Alistair Darling, basking in the warm glow of the fire, ‘we’ve been scooping up lots and lots of cash in preparation and were supposed to burn it all in one go. Then Mervyn turns up with another £25 billion in hundreds of wheelbarrows and now it’ll probably keep going till Christmas.’

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Posted: Nov 5th, 2009
More from Business

The Bank of England is making another bid to boost the UK’s economic recovery, this time by sending off the nation’s remaining gold reserves to one of those companies who advertise on daytime TV. The move could raise as much as £400 to help refinance the economy.

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2009
More from News In Brief

With strong support from the CBI, the OECD, IMF, World Bank and heads of the G20 nations, Mervyn King will shortly be appearing next to Gordon Brown everywhere he goes and pointing out on the spot when the Prime Minister says something that might be just ‘a teensy bit wrong’. Armed with his own assessments from the Bank of England and detailed analyses and forecasts from the other agencies, Mr King will be able to swiftly put the record straight when the PM says something daft like ‘we can just print all the money we want’.

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Posted: Jul 2nd, 2009
More from Politics