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Posts Tagged ‘Mervyn King’

Bank of England ‘making plans’ for potential British exit from pound sterling

Sir Mervyn King, Governor of the Bank of England, has revealed that he has been asked to draw up plans in the increasingly likely scenario that Britain will have to leave the Pound.

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2013
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Magic money tree found at Bank of England

David Cameron is said to be ‘fuming’ after the Bank of England admitted that it does have a magic money tree growing in its vaults after all.

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Posted: Mar 8th, 2013
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Quantitive Easing ruined by cost of inkjet cartridges to print new banknotes

The Bank of England has admitted that the decision to print £375 billion of new money was thwarted by the extortionate cost of the inkjet cartridges used by the Royal Mint to print the new banknotes.

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Posted: Nov 10th, 2012
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Bonfire Night at the Treasury ‘could go on for months’

Bonfire Night at the TreasuryThe bonfire set up at the UK treasury to celebrate Guy Fawkes night could burn for weeks if not months, insiders have revealed. The party, held in the basement, is a traditionally festive occasion with lots of Punch and Judy going on and massive fireworks when Gordon Brown gets told he can’t have another sparkler.

‘It’s wonderful isn’t it,’ said Chancellor Alistair Darling, basking in the warm glow of the fire, ‘we’ve been scooping up lots and lots of cash in preparation and were supposed to burn it all in one go. Then Mervyn turns up with another £25 billion in hundreds of wheelbarrows and now it’ll probably keep going till Christmas.’

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Posted: Nov 5th, 2009
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Bank of England sells unwanted gold reserves after seeing daytime TV ad

The Bank of England is making another bid to boost the UK’s economic recovery, this time by sending off the nation’s remaining gold reserves to one of those companies who advertise on daytime TV. The move could raise as much as £400 to help refinance the economy.

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2009
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