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Posts Tagged ‘Met Office’

Met Office warns conditions right for perfect ‘Death of Laddism’ articles storm

The closure of a lad mag and the demise of a car programme could cause the conditions for a perfect media storm, warn the Met Office.

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2015
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Met Office warns of a warm Christmas

chestnuts to be roasted in the sunshine on the patio‘It’s probable that some areas are going to experience double digit temperatures over Christmas,’ conceded a Met Office official today. ‘We think it could be due to a warm southerly front or the new supercomputer overheating, but there is a real risk of a warm Christmas, with grey skies and light drizzle. You know, like the last 45 Christmases everywhere outside the Scottish Highlands, only a bit warmer still.’

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Posted: Dec 19th, 2014
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Met Office issues amber ‘nyah, nyah, ne-nyah, nyah’

A spokesman from the Met Office admitted today that the earlier warning to ‘stay indoors’, particularly on Friday, was simply a ruse to clear the roads for their staff.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2014
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Met Office refuses to apologise for getting forecast right

‘The computer had to go back to Amstrad to have the memory chips upgraded to four megabytes,’ explained the senior officer on duty, ‘so we had to pull out the maps, crayons, seaweed, everything.’

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Posted: Mar 14th, 2014
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Met Office issues ASBO

‘We have issued severe weather warning after severe weather warning. Nothing has worked.’

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Posted: Jan 2nd, 2014
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