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Posts Tagged ‘metropolitan police’

Queen’s food taster dead after Prince of Wales omelette

‘He intended the meal to be a special surprise for his elderly mother. No one is sadder about how things have turned out than Prince Charles himself.’

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2011
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Met Office and Met Police to launch cutting edge nationwide ‘riotcasts’

In conjunction with the Met police, the Meteorological Office are set to launch the first forecasts for riot conditions throughout the UK to meet public demand. Experts have been working around the clock to provide predictions of aggro by adapting computer models to analyse social networking feeds and the winds whipped up by huge firestorms.

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Posted: Aug 11th, 2011
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Appointment of Junior Cadet as new Met Commissioner ‘delights family and teacher’

David Cameron’s exhaustive vetting of the remaining serving Metropolitan Police officers to find a suitable replacement Commissioner has led to the surprise appointment of prospective Junior Cadet Frankie Cruz Johnson to the post.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2011
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Metropolitan Police introduce dress-down Fridays

"dress 'im down, Sarge"The Metropolitan Police Service has finally recognised the changing nature of the modern workplace and begun allowing officers to mark the end of the working week by wearing civilian clothes on a Friday.

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Posted: Dec 29th, 2010
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Police sarcasm unit ‘struggling to cope’ with mass terror tweets

The Serious Organised Sarcasm Agency, the Metropolitan Police’s crack team of highly trained experts in preventing tongue-in-cheek humour and satire incidents, has admitted its staff are ‘struggling to cope’ with the high level of potential terror threats posted on social networking sites over the last few weeks.

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Posted: Nov 16th, 2010
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