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Posts Tagged ‘MI5’

MI5 to outsource surveillance to Google

MI6 getting in on it as well, but that's a secret‘Opportunity to opt out on page 123 of privacy policy terms and conditions.’

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2014
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Abu Hamza ‘worked for depressed kittens shelter’, claim defence

After claims at his trial that Abu Hamza al-Masri secretly worked for MI5, his lawyers have further revealed the radical Muslim cleric’s extensive work for charity. The US terror trial has heard that Hamza was a ‘leading light’ down at the local homeless shelter, giving reiki foot massages to vagrants, and worked evenings and weekends at the ‘Fluffywumbles Home for Depressed Felines’.

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Posted: May 8th, 2014
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Secret Santa ‘defends freedom’

Sir Iain Lobban has responded to criticism that Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) has undermined democracy, freedom and gone over budget with anonymous workplace gifts. The televised Public Hearing was told that a ‘jolly office tradition’ had spiralled out of control to include the exchange of Perfume Flamethrowers, Exploding Alarm Clocks and Portable Gyrocopters.

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2013
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Cliff ‘wired for sound’ during Cold War claim intelligence chiefs

Squeaky clean Sir Cliff went by the code name Harry Web-of-Deceit amongst Whitehall officials. Cliff’s paymasters gave the bachelor boy a brief to release soft pop ballads as a smokescreen for more clandestine activities. Having successfully established himself as a sleeper in the pop world he was ‘activated’ in 1968, during his performance of Eurovision entry, Congratulations, at London’s Albert Hall in 1968.

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Posted: Jun 19th, 2012
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James Bond pulled from Olympics promo as ‘license to kill’ found to have expired

It transpires that his ‘license to kill’ expired in 1995, meaning he has technically committed 384 murders in the intervening period.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2012
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