The six remaining Conservative Party leadership hopefuls have unanimously sacked specialist Damian Broadbent after the advice he provided on the first round of questions. ‘All I could hear in my head when I was asked ‘what’s your biggest weakness’ [read...]
Studies have shown that exposure to Ann Widdecombe at an impressionable age is strongly correlated with homosexuality in adult men. ‘I remember when I was a kid seeing her being interviewed on TV, about leaving the Church of England because they allowed women priests, [read...]
‘I am delighted to announce that I am throwing my shoe into the ring. Not my shoe, what is it you throw in? A hat, that’s right, I am throwing my hat into the pond. [read...]
Literary scholars have discovered a long forgotten text from the Nobel prize-winner, in which he describes an austerity-ridden landscape, filled with hapless characters stuck in a limbo of indicative votes. Although, there is some debate as to whether the working title was ‘Waiting for Brexit’, [read...]
The government has announced that it is to introduce a vote recycling scheme. It is understood that votes may be recycled at the polling station where they were first cast, whereupon any member of the electorate doing this will be credited with an ounce of common sense and promised five pounds off their income tax. [read...]
