In order to protect the UK’s fisheries post-Brexit, the Environment Secretary has issued Letters of Marque to any Salty Jack or Rancid Boris. On board the HMS Strong & Stable, Gove explained that he would be guarding Britain’s sovereign waters with a cutlass in one hand and an inflatable palm tree in the other. [read...]
Following the minority Conservative government’s so-called ‘confidence and supply’ deal with the DUP to buy the support of the DUP’s ten MPs at £100 million each for two years, a number of opposition MPs are also offering to sell their democratically elected souls for the same constituency-pimping price on the basis they may as well… [read...]
A damning report that shows a high percentage of students in Welsh universities have been caught copying is understood to have been copied from a body investigating plagiarism in English universities. ‘There’s clearly a problem here,’ [read...]
Slices of toast have popped up all over the UK to criticize metaphors applied to Theresa May. “I for one am fed up to the crusts with this ‘Theresa is toast’ claim”, said a piece of grilled brown Warburtons from Nottingham. [read...]
It is clear that Theresa May has become increasingly distracted of late. She apparently ‘forgot’ that she had called a general election, she wouldn’t turn up for debates because she had a zit, and the first draft of the Conservative manifesto was accidentally signed ‘Theresa Gove’. [read...]
