Michael Gove has released his plan for the farming community post Brexit. ‘First there will be a policy document, appropriately introduced in the Spring, sowing the seeds, so to speak,’ he announced today. ‘Then, in the summer we’ll sprinkle bullshit over the plans and see what rises,’ [read...]
Some have suggested that Catalans may have been manipulated by UK nationalistic fervour, but Señor Miguel Gove insisted that they had had enough of experts and sunshine: ‘Once out of Spain we’ll have complete control of our borders …except the bit that borders on to Spain. [read...]
Despite losing the right to broadcast the ‘Great British Bake Off’ programme, the BBC has won the right to host the long anticipated debate for legislation to exit the EU, it was announced today. ‘Originally we planned on running a Strictly style public vote on the Repeal Bill,’ [read...]
While Britain has scraped together a paltry £32m for damaged overseas territories in the wake of Hurricane Irma, the Government said it was still committed to funnelling hundreds of millions to clear up the ‘sh$t storm’ they had created. [read...]
Graham Brady, chairman of the 1922 committee, has announced that, in the event of Theresa May’s resignation, the next leader of the party will be selected through mixed martial arts combat, rather than the usual vote of no confidence and then election by MPs and party members. [read...]
