There were calls for calm yesterday after the newly-appointed Minister for the Environment Michael Gove stated that the Beaufort wind force scale should be changed in order to confuse everyone. Under Mr Gove’s proposal, the new scale will range from Z to A, [read...]
A stalk of spring wheat growing in a field in Herefordshire has expressed alarm at the news that Theresa May is still the Prime Minister. Nigel, who belongs to the genus Triticum Aestivum, said that Mrs May’s past record of casual cropicide makes her entirely unsuitable for the role. [read...]
The Conservative Party campaign for the General Election on 8th June will mostly involve endless repetition of the phrase ‘coalition of chaos’, it has emerged. Political commentators believe that by election day the public will have been bombarded with the phrase so often that they will walk into the voting booth in a trance-like state… [read...]
Buoyed by an endorsement from representatives of 5,000 small businesses, the Conservative Party has pledged to put a ‘food bank on every street corner’. Not content with four years of misery, David Cameron hopes to continue with his vision of low interest rates, [read...]
The Department for Education has decided to give academy status to a newly established school that will turn out the British superheroes of the future. [read...]
