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Posts Tagged ‘Michael Gove’

Childcare reforms lead to first battery-farm nurseries

incredibly efficient education‘Each toddler up to the age of four will now be cared for in connecting cages sharing common divider walls’.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2014
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History of Michael Gove to be made compulsory in secondary schools

Michael Gove, circa 1950‘His story is as English as the Battle of Hastings, or Clause 28,’ said one source.

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2014
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Boom in meth labs blamed on unsuccessful teachers’ strike

A sharp rise in the production of the highly addictive stimulant crystal methamphetamine on the UK’s streets has been directly blamed on last week’s national teachers’ strike today, which unions deemed largely unsuccessful.

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2014
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Primary schools ‘completely unprepared’ for first generation of Baby Einsteins

non-Euclidean geometry proving to be a bit tough for the other 5-year-olds‘There’s no way we can deal with classroom after classroom of certifiable prodigies. We’re used to teaching basic literacy skills and colouring-in, not advanced calculus and the history of the Bauhaus.’

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2014
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Superhero training school to be given academy status

to Peckham, and beyond...!The Department for Education has decided to give academy status to a newly established school that will turn out the British superheroes of the future.

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Posted: Mar 14th, 2014
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