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Posts Tagged ‘Michael Gove’

State school kids to ‘hand over pocket money at school gates’, confirms Gove

Michael Gove has today announced that students at state schools who receive over £10 a week in pocket money will be ‘stopped at the school gates by monitors’, nicknamed ‘Gove’s Angels’, and forced to voluntarily donate the cash to school funds. Although no physical force will be used, students who resist may see their grades go down and their cries of help ignored.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2014
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Labour to introduce breakdown cover for teachers

Under a Labour government teachers would be required to take out annual breakdown cover in order to work in English state schools, announced Shadow education secretary Tristram Hunt yesterday.

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Posted: Jan 12th, 2014
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Welfare Budget could be reduced with Biblical Floods

Conservative think tanks have reached the conclusion that Britain could be purged of an unwanted 95% of the population, if we only we embraced the ‘golden opportunity’ offered by recent extreme weather conditions.

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Posted: Jan 9th, 2014
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Tory MPs and left-wing academics in famous ceasefire

Peace broke out for a few golden hours earlier today in the bitter conflict between Conservative politicians and historians over the teaching of the First World War in schools.

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Posted: Jan 9th, 2014
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George Osborne owes the Littlewoods’ catalogue £25bn

The Chancellor today admitted to what is now looking like ‘an horrendous Christmas overspend’. Threatening to cut the welfare budget after the next election, Mr. Osborne confessed that he may have been profligate with the Babycham for Theresa May, discount hotel vouchers for William Hague and the Blackadder boxset for Michael Gove.

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Posted: Jan 7th, 2014
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