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Posts Tagged ‘Michael Jackson’

Michael Jackson: ‘It could have been me’ says Coleen Nolan

Coleen Nolan, popular presenter of TV’s Loose Women, has opened her heart following the death of Michael Jackson. ‘Both being the youngest in a chart topping family singing group, Michael and I had so many parallels in our lives.’ said 44 year old Nolan; ‘I can’t help think that it could have just as easily been me over there, dead.’

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Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009
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Jackson lawyers try to overturn death verdict

Lawyers for Michael Jackson lodged an urgent court appeal to overturn what attorney, Thomas Mesereau Jr., described as a ‘salacious accusation’ that their client is dead, claiming it was merely an attempt to wheedle money out of him. ‘Michael is a naïve victim who’s been manipulated by unscrupulous doctors,’ claimed Mesereau, ‘Same thing happened to Elvis. They destroyed his career, forcing him to earn a living in a chip shop.’

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Posted: Jun 28th, 2009
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Conspiracy theorists hold emergency summit over death of Michael Jackson

there has to be an irrational explanationFearing that shadowy official sources would once again attempt to misdirect a gullible public on the true circumstances surrounding the ‘supposed’ death of a major international figure with the release of supposed ‘facts’ from emergency services calls and secret hospital autopsies, conspiracy theorists from around the world met to hammer out a Common Unified Conspiracy Theory over the death of Michael Jackson.

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Posted: Jun 28th, 2009
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Senior civil servant suffers cardiac arrest under pressure of burying bad news

Jack Mickelson, a civil servant in the Central Office of Information, was rushed to hospital in critical condition following a cardiac arrest brought about by the pressure of a sudden influx of government departmental news that all coincidentally needed an urgent release to the press in the wake of the death of Michael Jackson.

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2009
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US, Iran united in mourning for Michael Jackson

The feuding governments of the USA and Iran put aside their differences to pay simultaneous tribute to the deceased singer Michael Jackson. At secret UN talks planned between the country’s leaders the initially stony faces of Presidents Obama and Ahmadinejad broke down into tears and smiles of fond remembrance, as Ahmadinejad spontaneously grabbed his crotch and let out a ‘Wooh!’ and Obama moonwalked to hug his former foe.

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2009
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