NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Michael O’Leary’

Ryanair offers budget air strikes

Ryanair today announced today that it would offer economy air strikes on extremist positions, if they happened to be along existing flight paths. ‘We get people to where they need to go,’ said CEO Michael O’Leary, ‘and if those people happen to be air-to-surface missiles that need to go up some nutcase’s arse, then we can accommodate them at the lowest price.’

Read more >

Posted: Sep 24th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Ryanair slammed for outsourcing complaints department to Dublin tramp

‘At first we thought that the man on the other end of the phone was Michael O’Leary and we’d just woke him up, but further investigation revealed that it was actually a tramp in the Temple Bar area of Dublin, called Mick.’

Read more >

Posted: Nov 28th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Ryanair to launch ‘Dam Buster’ flights

Explaining to reporters the airline’s ‘groundbreaking dam buster concept’, Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary said:

‘We shall be employing in our aircraft the advanced technology used by the dam busters. We are ceasing to operate aircraft with fancy autopilots and the like.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 19th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Ryanair to charge customers for not beating them with a stick

RyanAir has announced a new service charge for customers that will give passengers the option of paying “a small administration fee” to not be repeatedly struck on the head by truncheon-wielding cabin crew for the duration of their flight.

Read more >

Posted: Jun 13th, 2010
More from News In Brief



RyanAir to save costs by getting the passengers to fly planes

Ryanair has followed up its controversial move of charging for use of their toilets by announcing that customers can make real economies if they choose to fly the planes themselves.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 20th, 2010
More from News In Brief