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Posts Tagged ‘Microsoft’

Campaign to save Windows 9 gains traction

Protesters from all over the globe are converging on Microsoft offices, computer repair shops and internet cafes to state the case for Windows 9. ‘It’s a pro-life issue,’ said one protester. ‘It may be malformed, prone to crashing, buggy and utterly useless,’ said another, ‘but look at the gene pool,’ he added. ‘I’ll have a gap on my shelf,’ said a middle-aged man sporting an anorak.

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2014
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NSA used ‘Microsoft Windows’ to infect millions of computers

The documents leaked by Edward Snowden have yielded what may be their most shocking revelation yet: plans to infect millions of computers with malware to prevent them from working properly. This was devised by the NSA in consultation with a shady billionaire, unofficially named as ‘Bill Gates’, who had close links to many different arms of the US government.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2014
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Man who ‘reported an error to Microsoft’ in 1997 finally receives solution

Thomas Green, a delivery driver from Yeovil has finally rid himself of a ‘sixteen year ordeal’ today after an ‘error report’ he sent to Microsoft in 1997 finally returned a solution.

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Posted: Oct 15th, 2013
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Microsoft buys Betamax

Microsoft has bought Betamax, hoping to steal a march on more successful rivals such as Apple and Samsung. Having dismissed the internet as ‘a passing fad’, and countered the threat of tablet computers by putting wheels on a PC, Steve Ballmer, Microsoft’s CEO, is keen to get the company back on track.

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2013
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Britons have nothing to fear from large floating ‘Death Star’

finds your lack of faith 'disturbing'After reports from a whistle blower about strange things happening in the skies above Britain which has finally led members of the public to look up and say ‘Crikey!’ Foreign Secretary William Hague made it clear today that voters should not be worried by the partially constructed space station increasing in size each night in the sky above Slough.

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2013
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