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Posts Tagged ‘Microsoft’

Campaign to save Windows 9 gains traction

Protesters from all over the globe are converging on Microsoft offices, computer repair shops and internet cafes to state the case for Windows 9. ‘It’s a pro-life issue,’ said one protester. ‘It may be malformed, prone to crashing, buggy and utterly useless,’ said another, ‘but look at the gene pool,’ he added. ‘I’ll have a gap on my shelf,’ said a middle-aged man sporting an anorak.

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2014
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PowerPoint demonstration delights sceptical meeting

‘Difficult messages eased by beautiful use of a diagonal slow screen wipe from top-right to bottom left.’

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2014
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NSA used ‘Microsoft Windows’ to infect millions of computers

The documents leaked by Edward Snowden have yielded what may be their most shocking revelation yet: plans to infect millions of computers with malware to prevent them from working properly. This was devised by the NSA in consultation with a shady billionaire, unofficially named as ‘Bill Gates’, who had close links to many different arms of the US government.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2014
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Man who ‘reported an error to Microsoft’ in 1997 finally receives solution

Thomas Green, a delivery driver from Yeovil has finally rid himself of a ‘sixteen year ordeal’ today after an ‘error report’ he sent to Microsoft in 1997 finally returned a solution.

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Posted: Oct 15th, 2013
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Microsoft buys Betamax

Microsoft has bought Betamax, hoping to steal a march on more successful rivals such as Apple and Samsung. Having dismissed the internet as ‘a passing fad’, and countered the threat of tablet computers by putting wheels on a PC, Steve Ballmer, Microsoft’s CEO, is keen to get the company back on track.

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2013
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