A high profile Premier League footballer has revealed his desire to come clean about his middle class roots. He told Gary Lineker: ‘I thought I had muddied the waters enough by having football cliché and anti-elocution lessons to learn me how to speak well-proper like my team-mates and that. [read...]
Following on from its recent ‘exciting’ news to cease giving customers a free coffee, upmarket supermarket Waitrose has identified other ways to please customers. ‘Providing change is just an irritant, don’t you agree?’ asked Shona, [read...]
A middle class couple from Chiswick, west London, have bought the whole county of Yorkshire. ‘We’d been thinking for a while we needed more space, what with a second child on the way,’ said Annabel Williamson. [read...]
Fears were growing today for a life coach from Nantwich after it was revealed that he was down to his last anecdote in his attempt to bond with the workmen fitting his new kitchen. The news comes after the work spilled over into an unexpected second week, [read...]
A Northamptonshire woman is recovering in hospital after getting lost in her local Waitrose and surviving on ‘filtered spring water and a daily free cup of coffee’, supplemented by berries from the breakfast aisle. ‘I became lost and disorientated somewhere around the sale items,’ [read...]
