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Posts Tagged ‘Middle East’

Television news switched off in favour of barbecue

Something simply had to be doneBritish television viewers have decided to abandon their TV sets this weekend, thereby missing the important new stories of plane crashes, Gaza and the imminent outbreak of World War Three. Instead they are going to concentrate on getting the barbecue working and drinking Pimms in the back garden.

‘It seems like the right thing to do’ said Lily from Clapham, south London. ‘There are lots of people worrying about the state of the world right now, and I think the best contribution we can make is to have too much to drink on the patio and eat a lot of barbecued chicken wings. If we can get a bit of a sun tan at the same time then so much the better.’

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2014
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State of Anarchy in the Middle East fails to attract Anarchists

Despite a golden dawn for chaos and violence, many self-proclaimed Anarchists seem unwilling to visit the new melting pot of human values.

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Posted: Jul 14th, 2014
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British volunteers to be weekend warriors in Iraq

Taking its cure from the British Ministry of Defence, ISIS is to form its own Territorial Army. Volunteers will fly out to Syria or Iraq on the Friday evening and return on Monday morning. To avoid Ryanair’s hefty prices for extra baggage, especially assault rifles, grenades and rocket launchers, these will be picked upon arrival in Iraq.

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Posted: Jun 30th, 2014
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Tony Blair launches massive airbrush strike on Iraq

Former UK prime minister Tony Blair has launched a massive air-brush strike on the causes of the violent insurgency now gripping Iraq.

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2014
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West warns Moslem world to ignore Blairite extremists

‘Mr Blair talking about the dangers of not taking action in the Middle East is like a child telling you the dangers of not buying them sweets,’ a UN statement said.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2014
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