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Posts Tagged ‘migrants’

Germany cannot take ‘any more VW migrants’

‘There are thousands of them heading for our borders,’ complained a German spokesman today, ‘bringing their diesel fumes and exhaust emissions with them. We can’t possibly be expected to take them all,’ he added.

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2015
More from News In Brief

We ♥ Migrants

Politicians and giddy school girls alike have stormed the internet in search for tips on how to copy the latest fashion sensation – ‘Refugee Chic’. Anyone who is anyone is desperate to get themselves photographed next to a drowned body, a reeking container or a somewhat stressed-looking border guard.

One designer declared: ‘Migrants are so 2015. Sunken cheeks, hollow eyes and a rather damp smell. You can mix and match any clothing or colours, provided it looks like you’re wearing your entire wardrobe. And no outfit would be complete without figure-hugging children, draped over your shoulders’.

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2015
More from Lifestyle

Swarm of British migrants ‘ruining’ Greek island

EU leaders have warned that a surging tide of migrants from Britain is threatening to overwhelm the Greek island of Kos.

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2015
More from World News

Migrants face ‘milk and honey ban’ at UK Supermarkets

David Cameron has unveiled emergency legislation to forbid the sale of milk and honey products to those who do not have the legal right to be in Britain.

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2015
More from UK News

New Channel Tunnel back to North Africa unveiled

That'll sort itAfter months of top-secret excavation work, the results of a major Anglo-French construction project have been unveiled today: a brand-new extension of the Channel Tunnel that will take would-be migrants from Calais straight back to a currently undisclosed location in North Africa.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2015
More from Politics, UK News