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Posts Tagged ‘Mo Farah’

London marathon runner raises £1m for existential angst charity

'will all these happy people please go away'London marathon runner, Nigel Mortimer, is celebrating this morning after raising £1m for the victims of crippling existential angst. Though its existence is disputed by some, existential angst is a debilitating condition that strikes men in their mid-to-late forties.

Sufferers report a variety of symptoms ranging from chronic self-absorption to horror at the futility of existence. Until recently Mortimer had worked as an IT specialist, but was fired from his position after discovering that existential angst is not an acceptable reason to call in sick.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2014
More from Sport



Olympics fan sets new record for collecting Sunday papers from newsagent

celebrations set to go right through into Mo-nday‘I concentrated on carb-loading the previous night,’ said Mo, describing his achievement to the BBC’s Phil Jones. ‘Pizza and chips washed down by an enviable six pack while I watched the sprint relay was perfect.’

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2012
More from Lifestyle, Sport



Homegrown terrorists ‘distracted by Team GB success‘

In a video released earlier this week, a spokesman for the UK-based Islamic Jihadi Brotherhood assured the British public that ‘the infidels will burn and the streets will flow with the blood of the non-believers, but for now we’re glued to our TVs watching Team GB’s medal success’.

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2012
More from News In Brief



British youth inspired by menial Olympic support roles

‘We hoped that a new generation would dare to dream of one day carrying in the athletes’ tracksuits after a race, or measuring how far the discus was thrown.’

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Posted: Aug 11th, 2012
More from Sport, UK News



London 2012 ‘proves austerity works’, declares Cameron

‘Just look at Jess Ennis, Mo Farah and that ginger lad – George Osborne has been cutting their funding like mad since we got in, and look what it did for them. Brilliant.’

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2012
More from Sport