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Posts Tagged ‘Morgan Freeman’

Politicians to replace faulty moral compass with new Ethical Sat Nav

Members of Parliament need never get lost againMPs are preparing for the arrival of a new piece of wearable technology that will help them navigate difficult terrain and always guide them towards the high moral ground.

The EPS, or Ethical Positioning System, operates by triangulating a person’s political standpoint via a number of morally aware ‘smart satellites’. If a politician starts to veer off course, perhaps about to break a manifesto pledge, the Sat Nav will interrupt with the message: ‘You are no longer on the agreed route, please perform a U-turn now.’

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Posted: Jan 7th, 2014
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Morgan Freeman to analyse tragedies full time, say Facebook Chiefs

Recognising the runaway viral success of comments on the Newtown massacre attributed to him, Morgan Freeman has signed a two-year deal to provide simple, soothing explanations for all of life’s troubles, announced Facebook marketing executive, also Morgan Freeman.

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Posted: Dec 17th, 2012
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