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Posts Tagged ‘movember’

Lose a leg for us this Dismember, urges charity

A local charity is raising awareness of its cause by calling the twelfth month of the year ‘Dismember’ and urging the public to ‘chop one off for us’, it was confirmed yesterday. ‘It doesn’t have to be a whole arm or leg – just below the knee or elbow would be fine’ said a spokesman. ‘It could even be your little fella – we don’t mind what you do as long as you Instagram the panicked reaction of your colleagues when blood starts spurting all over the office breakout area’.

The Carshalton Pet Bereavement Counselling Service is asking volunteers to raise a minimum of £1000 in sponsorship to fund a joining pack comprising a small chainsaw, a large tourniquet, and a wipe-clean leaflet explaining how, for many, losing a pet can be ‘literally like losing a limb’.

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Posted: Nov 29th, 2013
More from Lifestyle



Paxman determined to win Movember

Jeremy Paxman will throw down the gauntlet to thousands of men planning to take part in the popular ‘Movember’ campaign next month. A recent dry run proved categorically that the TV presenter can grow a thick, rich and dense moustache ‘in a matter of hours’.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2013
More from News In Brief



Man ‘hurt and saddened’ that no one noticed he’s done Movember

‘It’s been over four weeks now, and not one person has tried to give me the new nickname ‘Magnum, PI’,’ complained the skinny strawberry blond. ‘It’s just not very supportive. One person did ask me ‘what’s that on your top lip?’ on Tuesday, but it turns out the biro I’d been chewing had broken, so I don’t think it counts.’

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2012
More from UK News



Nick Clegg to grow a spine for ‘Manuary’

‘Who knows, if it all goes well, next year he may even grow a pair of balls too,’ said a spokesperson.

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Posted: Nov 26th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Charity coalition moves to end autumn charity overload

‘The public is finding it increasingly difficulty to simultaneously deal with Poppy Day, Children in Need, Movember and Halloween,’ said a coalition spokesman.

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Posted: Nov 13th, 2012
More from News In Brief