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Posts Tagged ‘movie’

RSPCA raids illegal Jason Statham farm

millions of the buggersThe police and RSPCA uncovered a secret Jason Statham farm yesterday. Over two hundred Jason Stathams were taken into care, and several had to be humanely destroyed.

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Posted: Sep 14th, 2011
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Dam Busters dog renamed ‘Cuntface’ for movie remake

'Dam' also thought too sacrilegious; replaced by 'Dyke'Stephen Fry, who is writing the screenplay for the remake of the classic Dam Busters movie, has announced that to avoid controversy, the name of the squadron’s dog will be changed from the ‘N-word’ to ‘Cuntface’, it was announced yesterday.

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Posted: Jun 12th, 2011
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After 10 viewings, couple finally understand ‘Inception’

‘Why couldn’t they have made the whole thing as simple as ‘Titanic’?’ said Jack, who has watched ‘Memento’ on DVD more than 50 times without understanding it.

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Posted: Aug 9th, 2010
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Couple split after misunderstanding over ‘5-tissue movie’

‘Cassie said she hadn’t watched a good 5-tissue movie for ages, so I was off to Blockbuster like Usain Bolt,’ said Aaron. Sadly his choice of ‘Jism-Drinking Chingford Vixens’ wasn’t quite the type of tear-jerker she’d had in mind.

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Posted: May 9th, 2010
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War fans disappointed by new show about angry Vietnam vet

A new show on BBC about a disillusioned Vietnam vet who becomes a killing machine, and gets all the pussy he can handle, has proved a massive disappointment with war movie buffs.

Instead of witnessing punks get blown away, the BBC screened a show about an animal doctor in modern day Ho Chi Min.

‘He seemed to be either in regional health committee meetings, or putting down old cats,” complained a furious viewer.

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Posted: Jul 18th, 2009
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