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Posts Tagged ‘movies’

America remembers those fallen during viewings of ‘Independence Day’

victims should have watched 'Mars Attacks!' instead‘Thousands never made it out of the movie theatres alive. It was carnage.’

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2015
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Darth Vader seeks revenge by ‘living well’

Lord of the Sith Darth Vader has warned his sworn enemies that he will be unleashing revenge in its most ruthless form, simply by living well. The Dark Emperor threatened a low carb gluten free diet, regular exercise, and a vengeful appetite for Alpen Swiss Style Muesli.

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Posted: Dec 22nd, 2014
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Computer scenes must be ‘realistic in films’ says EU

EU rules coming into force in the New Year have angered movie makers. From next year actors are not going to be allowed to ‘just switch on’ a computer; instead it has to go through the usual start up scripts, hang, rebooting and then inform the actor that update 1 of 125 is being installed. ‘We think it will add additional tension into plotlines as the hero waits for Adobe Acrobat to reinstall’ explained one EU policy maker.

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2014
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Local man who saw only one film last year now pretty sure it was the wrong one

Despite an article in the South Devon Herald advising him that if he only saw one film that year it should be Super 8 by J. J. Abrams, local pipe salesman George Lawrence is now not so sure he made the right choice.

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Posted: Apr 3rd, 2012
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Hollywood mogul admits ‘No new ideas’

Following the recent release of another Hollywood-blockbuster-based-on-a-comic-hero, Captain America, a studio mogul with MGM has revealed that writers have completely run out of inspiration and that there are no new ideas left.

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2011
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