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Posts Tagged ‘MPs expenses’

Jacqui Smith’s husband ‘can keep porn expenses but must repay claim for tissues’, says inquiry

Absence made the wrist grow strongerRichard Timney’s claim for six large boxes of tissues must be repaid after being deemed ‘excessive’, even when accepting that the films in question were ‘absolute belters’.

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Posted: Oct 15th, 2009
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MPs’ parents ‘dreading the summer holidays’

October 'can't come too soon'‘It’s absurd that they get so long off,’ said Alan Duncan’s father.

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2009
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MPs sign sponsorship deals to boost income

As part of efforts by MPs to find legitimate new ways to supplement their annual salary it was announced that the showcase Prime Minister’s Questions sessions would feature sponsorship. From July, MPs from both sides of the house will be entitled to ask questions such as ‘Is the Prime Minister aware of the urgency of getting down to DFS before 4pm Sunday to catch the end of its half-price sale?’

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2009
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Telegraph withdraws expense claim allegations ‘after doing the figures again’

all down to student on work experienceThe Daily Telegraph has issued a front-page apology over the expenses allegations after discovering that its political staff ‘hadn’t read the second column correctly.’

‘In recent weeks, we may have given the impression that the House of Commons is stuffed to the rafters with filthy, rapacious grubbers sponging off the taxpayer to feed their indolent lives of immoral luxury,’ the newspaper’s editorial declares. ‘In fact, it turns out that the whole story was written up by a spotty 17-year-old intern who couldn’t read the figures properly and left out the middle column of numbers. Our MPs are in fact the same fine group of distinguished gentlemen and ladies that they have always been. We hope the mistake hasn’t caused any inconvenience.’

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Posted: Jun 7th, 2009
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Bono attacks pious MPs who don’t pay their taxes

Global campaigner Bono has slammed British M.P.s for avoiding paying tax on their expenses. ‘It’s the piousness I can’t stand,’ said the U2 star yesterday, posing for pictures outside the Houses of Parliament. ‘What’s really nauseating is they act like they’re saving the world, when all they’re doing is saving their receipts.’

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Posted: May 27th, 2009
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