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Posts Tagged ‘MPs expenses’

Anger at Brian the Snail second home claims

Residents of The Magic Roundabout were said to be ‘up in arms’ last night over claims that Brian the Snail has been claiming expenses for a second home. It appears that as well as his one bedroom attached house Mr Snail also has a six bedroom tortoise shell in a desirable location close to Chigley for which he has been claiming the second home allowance.

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Posted: May 25th, 2009
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Ronnie Biggs to repay proceeds of Great Train Robbery after ‘genuine oversight’

I just jumped on the train, like everyone elseNotorious Great Train Robber, Ronnie Biggs, has announced that he is to return the proceeds gained from the 1963 multi-million pound train heist in an attempt to restore public confidence in the once honourable criminal classes. Biggs, currently serving a sentence in Norwich prison after returning to the UK in 2001, has described the manner by which he came into the money as ‘an honest mistake’, and has called for a change in the rules which are making morally-upright criminals look like money-grabbing cheats.

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Posted: May 19th, 2009
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‘Waiting for Gordo’ is West End smash

any time soonThe drama depicts two down-at-heel political parties who spend the whole play waiting for the mysterious ‘Gordo’ to resign.

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Posted: May 16th, 2009
More from Politics

Expenses row latest; MP ‘claimed for trough’

needed something to stick his nose inSenior backbencher Sir Peregrine Hawker has defended his expenses claim for £3400 to have a diamond-encrusted trough installed in the garden of his second home. ‘I have to have something to stick my nose in,’ he told reporters; ‘It is an essential part of an MP’s work.’

The Speaker of the House of Commons confirmed that, under the present rules the claim for the top-of-the-range trough from Harrods was within the rules, as was Sir Peregrine’s claim for £560 travel expenses relating to an actual train made of gravy. ‘How else am I expected to visit my constituency from my London flat in Easy Street?’ fumed the irate MP.

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Posted: May 13th, 2009
More from Politics

Expenses latest; ‘Queen claimed for bejewelled hat’

it's not like she ever even wears itHer Majesty the Queen has become the latest public figure to become embroiled in the expenses row, after a leak to the Daily Telegraph revealed that Elizabeth II has been passing on the cost of a diamond encrusted crown which she claimed was somehow essential for her to do her job as monarch. Other bizarre items on the Queen’s expenses claims included something called a ‘sceptre’, valued at hundreds of millions of pounds, several ‘orbs’ and a number of ceremonial swords, none of which the Queen paid for out of her own money.

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Posted: May 11th, 2009
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