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Posts Tagged ‘MPs’

Shopkeepers near UKIP leader’s home pretending not to speak English

goodbye please
‘What what? Goodbye please?’’

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Posted: Oct 10th, 2014
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MPs to register photographs of their genitals

All MPs will be required to lodge photographs of their genitals with the Sergeant at Arms’s office. ‘Most MPs have at one time or another taken a selfie of their private parts, and this is a simple step to avoid the current issues related to the Daily Mirror,’ said a spokesperson for Hansard, who will publish the genitals before each parliamentary term.

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Posted: Sep 30th, 2014
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Criminals to police themselves

The government is to introduce self-policing for UK law breakers. Unveiling the radical new scheme, government spokesman, Maria Miller, explained; ‘The old saying is ‘it takes a thief to catch a thief’ and this measure is simply an extension of how Parliament itself works. That system has met with such universal approval from the British public, that it seemed logical to trust people who continually try and avoid the police to henceforth police themselves.

The scheme, which has been launched to coincide with the beginning of the new avoiding-tax year, will involve muggers, burglars, car thieves and investment bankers being charged with making sure that no laws are breaking in the course of their law-breaking.

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2014
More from UK News



MPs portraits so expensive ‘because they need to capture both faces’

Officials at the Commons have defended the £250,000 spent on MPs’ portraits over the last twenty years, claiming that this represents good value for money because MPs have at least two faces needing painting, so artists have to be paid double.

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2014
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Tory MPs and left-wing academics in famous ceasefire

Peace broke out for a few golden hours earlier today in the bitter conflict between Conservative politicians and historians over the teaching of the First World War in schools.

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Posted: Jan 9th, 2014
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