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Posts Tagged ‘MPs’

Scottish Labour MPs ‘near extinction’, captive breeding program proposed

'Just lie back and think of Scottish Labour'Fears are growing for the Scottish Labour MP after a recent report suggests there may be only a single individual left in the wild. Experts have proposed a captive breeding program at Edinburgh Zoo to help increase their numbers for eventual release.

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Posted: May 8th, 2015
More from Environment, Politics

Primary school children call for sex education for MPs

Some MPs less clued up on relationships than 7-year-oldsA report by an influential committee of schoolchildren has urged the Government do more to ensure the nation’s MPs get the sex and relationships education they need to form healthy relationships with others.

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2015
More from Politics

Shopkeepers near UKIP leader’s home pretending not to speak English

goodbye please
‘What what? Goodbye please?’’

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Posted: Oct 10th, 2014
More from From The Archives

MPs to register photographs of their genitals

All MPs will be required to lodge photographs of their genitals with the Sergeant at Arms’s office. ‘Most MPs have at one time or another taken a selfie of their private parts, and this is a simple step to avoid the current issues related to the Daily Mirror,’ said a spokesperson for Hansard, who will publish the genitals before each parliamentary term.

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Posted: Sep 30th, 2014
More from News In Brief

Criminals to police themselves

The government is to introduce self-policing for UK law breakers. Unveiling the radical new scheme, government spokesman, Maria Miller, explained; ‘The old saying is ‘it takes a thief to catch a thief’ and this measure is simply an extension of how Parliament itself works. That system has met with such universal approval from the British public, that it seemed logical to trust people who continually try and avoid the police to henceforth police themselves.

The scheme, which has been launched to coincide with the beginning of the new avoiding-tax year, will involve muggers, burglars, car thieves and investment bankers being charged with making sure that no laws are breaking in the course of their law-breaking.

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2014
More from UK News