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Posts Tagged ‘music’

Hare Krishnas split due to ‘musical differences’

Internationally renowned folk mantra group The Hare Krishnas announced today that they are splitting up. The announcement was made by the group’s manager Ramai Swami during a hastily arranged press conference in New York, the group’s Western birth place.

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Posted: Nov 4th, 2015
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Swingers’ festival ‘used loud music to drown sounds of bonking’

Despite complaints from local residents about noise levels, organisers of the Swingfields festival in the Forest of Dean have insisted that their blaring disco music was turned up loud as a courtesy to locals, because it was ‘better than the sound of constant squelching’.

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Posted: Jul 7th, 2015
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Secret Cliff Richard vault ‘not an urban myth’, warn experts

Reports that Sir Cliff Richard has a secret vault of music to be released after his death ‘may be true’ and not an urban myth, as once believed by music analysts.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2015
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State of emergency declared after the e-Bono virus hits Britain

An urgent public health warning has today been issued after a dangerous virus that was supposed to be someone else’s problem arrived on Great Britain’s shores last night, having entered the country via a consignment of infected Apple devices. The virus is said to have already reached epidemic status.

The BBC have reacted by broadcasting public service messages giving information on how to delete the ‘e-Bono virus’ from infected phones and iPods, though nothing can be done about alleviating the early-onset symptoms, which include ear infections, drowsiness, and ‘ranting about Bono’s wrap-around specs’.

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Posted: Sep 13th, 2014
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Rock world mourns the passing of Colin, the 5th Ramone

News has emerged that Colin, the little known 5th Ramone has died at his Chiswick home, aged 63.

Colin, who was at the time a moderately successful draughtsman for a small architects’ firm in Brentwood, joined the band in 1975 after meeting them at the infamous punk venue The Flob and Strangle.

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Posted: Aug 7th, 2014
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