Sir Elton John is to marry himself in what is expected to be one of the most glittering ceremonies ever seen. The marriage has thus far been disallowed on the basis that he is the same sex as himself, though a change in the law means the Rocket Man singer can now fulfil his lifetime’s ambition.
Posted: Mar 31st, 2014
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The 19-year-old ‘King of Teen Pop’ has confirmed via Twitter that he will be running for office in this year’s Toronto Mayoral elections.
Describing it as ‘an emotional voyage of self-discovery’, singer-songwriter John Pearce has composed a song about a girl he is currently infatuated with, reports confirmed earlier today.
Posted: Jan 22nd, 2014
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What began as a series of barely audible warning noises, has quickly become a front runner for the prestigious music prize in the UK, the Brit Awards. Having recently been painted black by its stylist, starred in an obligatory sex tape with Robin Thicke, Beeping Smoke Alarm (BSA) is set to be the most downloaded act of 2014 ‘once Dad has found the stepladder’.
Although, ironically, it has been nominated for Best Newcomer at the 2014 Brits, BSA has been quietly gathering dust in the spare bedroom for the last two years. It only came to the attention of talent scouts after its heavy duty battery ‘gave up the ghost’, creating a whole new sound that has sent clubbers into ecstasy.
Posted: Jan 13th, 2014
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Not to be outdone by their neighbours from across the Pennines, the cast of Emmerdale have released an 18-song UK grime album entitled ‘Da Dalez’. This was done in retaliation to the rap video released by Coronation Street’s Tommy Duckworth, alias Chris Fountain, which earned him critical acclaim in the world of urban music despite him also losing his job his process.
Posted: Aug 20th, 2013
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