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Posts Tagged ‘music’

Official singles chart to count high-pitched screaming‏

value of screaming finally recognised in the the music industryFor the first time ever, alongside streaming services, teenagers emitting ultrasonic squeals of delight will be used in calculating album and singles sales. Pant-wetting, fainting and ‘excitement-induced fainting’ will also form part of a complicated algorithm designed to measure contemporary trends. No longer will music journalists have to consult with dogs as to which high-pitched noise belongs to Beliebers, Directioners or ‘a guy shepherding sheep’.

While tinnitus remains the industry-standard format with which to experience the Top 40, many see the acceptance of screams as an important step in acknowledging the popularity of more obscure tunes.

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



1D-Day celebrations commemorate the death of music

if it wasn't for our brave boys, they'd be called 'Eine Richtung'Veterans, historians and girls with retainers are united today in marking 1D-Day a day of remembrance for ‘our boys’ struggle to overcome lacklustre hair, no musical ability and the Nazi occupation of France. Former groupies, internet trolls and serving members of the armed forces all paid their respect for the loss of melodies, the death of legible tattoos and remembered just how many ears had paid the ultimate sacrifice.

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Posted: Jun 5th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



Putin set to annex Eurovision Song Contest

Vladimir Putin has confirmed that Russia is preparing to ‘annex the Eurovision Song Contest’ if the country fails to win this evening. Russian choirs are reported to be massing around Copenhagen, with reported manoeuvres to out-sing Ukraine contestants and ‘their Western counter tenor backers’.

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Posted: May 10th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Elton John to marry himself

still capable of standingSir Elton John is to marry himself in what is expected to be one of the most glittering ceremonies ever seen. The marriage has thus far been disallowed on the basis that he is the same sex as himself, though a change in the law means the Rocket Man singer can now fulfil his lifetime’s ambition.

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2014
More from Celebrity



Justin Bieber tipped for Toronto Mayor job

you better beliebe itThe 19-year-old ‘King of Teen Pop’ has confirmed via Twitter that he will be running for office in this year’s Toronto Mayoral elections.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2014
More from Celebrity, Politics