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Posts Tagged ‘music’

Putin set to annex Eurovision Song Contest

Vladimir Putin has confirmed that Russia is preparing to ‘annex the Eurovision Song Contest’ if the country fails to win this evening. Russian choirs are reported to be massing around Copenhagen, with reported manoeuvres to out-sing Ukraine contestants and ‘their Western counter tenor backers’.

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Posted: May 10th, 2014
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Elton John to marry himself

still capable of standingSir Elton John is to marry himself in what is expected to be one of the most glittering ceremonies ever seen. The marriage has thus far been disallowed on the basis that he is the same sex as himself, though a change in the law means the Rocket Man singer can now fulfil his lifetime’s ambition.

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2014
More from Celebrity



Justin Bieber tipped for Toronto Mayor job

you better beliebe itThe 19-year-old ‘King of Teen Pop’ has confirmed via Twitter that he will be running for office in this year’s Toronto Mayoral elections.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2014
More from Celebrity, Politics



Amazing singer-songwriter composes song about girl he likes

Describing it as ‘an emotional voyage of self-discovery’, singer-songwriter John Pearce has composed a song about a girl he is currently infatuated with, reports confirmed earlier today.

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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2014
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Beeping Smoke Alarm set to star at the Brit Awards

even getting plaudits from Fire BrigadeWhat began as a series of barely audible warning noises, has quickly become a front runner for the prestigious music prize in the UK, the Brit Awards. Having recently been painted black by its stylist, starred in an obligatory sex tape with Robin Thicke, Beeping Smoke Alarm (BSA) is set to be the most downloaded act of 2014 ‘once Dad has found the stepladder’.

Although, ironically, it has been nominated for Best Newcomer at the 2014 Brits, BSA has been quietly gathering dust in the spare bedroom for the last two years. It only came to the attention of talent scouts after its heavy duty battery ‘gave up the ghost’, creating a whole new sound that has sent clubbers into ecstasy.

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment