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Posts Tagged ‘Nelson Mandela’

Interpreters to be replaced by Skippy the Bush Kangaroo

Following the debacle of the Mandela memorial being overshadowed by fake sign language, all future international events will be staffed by Australia’s ‘favourite joey’. Skippy will translate multiple dialects into a series of universally understood hind leg ‘thumps’, ‘clicking sounds’ and ‘rudimentary twerking’.

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2013
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Salford man in hiding after admitting he never met Mandela

‘What really brought it home to me was when my cousin Millicent said on Facebook that Mandela had been released from prison on her 18th birthday,’ said ‘Keith’. ‘Once someone has been touched by greatness in that way, it changes them. I realise now the Christmas present I bought for her is totally inadequate.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2013
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Mail Exclusive: Fury as lefties mourn dead foreign terrorist

There has been widespread anger as members of the British liberal-left elite have lined up to pay tributes to Nelson Mandela, a convicted Communist terrorist from South Africa.

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2013
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E.ON increases energy prices in memory of Mandela

We have thought long and hard about a fitting tribute, and have decided on a 3.7% price rise from January 2014. Bill payers, as they receive their Spring statements, will remember where they were when they first heard the news of Mandela’s death, and reflect on the small additional price they will be paying in memory of his life’.

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2013
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Mandela ‘determined to complete bucket list’

didn't get where he got to by giving upWhile the world has feared that South Africa’s revered former president, Nelson Mandela, may not have long to live, his aides remain unconcerned and insist there is no way he will be taken from us before he has finished every last item on the ‘bucket list’ he drew up in his final year in prison on Robben Island.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2013
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