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Posts Tagged ‘new labour’

New Labour to release cover version of ‘Just Say No’ (to socialism)

Things can only get bitterNew Labour has announced it will reform and record a special charity single – a cover of the Grange Hill classic ‘Just Say No’ – to warn against dabbling in left-wing politics.

‘Back in the 70s and 80s a lot of my friends were regularly leaning to the left,’ New Labour frontman Tony Blair told a packed press conference. ‘To watch their voter base slowly fade away as they shrank into the shadow of opposition broke my heart so much that I felt I needed a transplant. I was determined to stamp it out in the 90s and now socialism has reared its ugly head again, it’s time to get the old gang back together, with the possible exception of Prescott, and do something.’

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2015
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Gangs of ruthless Labour activists ‘grooming’ vulnerable Lib Dems

A leading charity has today warned that well-organised gangs of Labour activists have been grooming vulnerable Liberal Democrats in towns and cities across the country.

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2011
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Last episode of New Labour disappoints viewers

Many viewers had found that the series had lost its way after the declaration of war that was broadly seen as an attempt to revive interest following flagging ratings, and the subsequent departure of the once popular lead character Tony.

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Posted: May 26th, 2010
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Lord Mandelson plans human sacrifices to appease business gods

Business Secretary Lord Mandelson refused to be drawn on reports that he plans human sacrifices as part of the government’s latest attempts to stem the economic downturn.

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2008
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