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Canal boat chase ends in capture after eight days
An eight-day police chase across two counties ended peacefully when a suspected canal barge thief was cornered in a canal basin near Wolverhampton. [read...]
Tagged news parody
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MP’s to stop voting as the people already voted in the referendum
This decision comes after universal condemnation of calls for a People’s Vote, a term invented exclusively to label those who voted in the referendum as less than people. Despite this being a slight on Remainers just as much as Brexiters, [read...]
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McVey followers on the run
Police were today hunting for 9 people who are suspected of having voted for Ester McVey as the next Prime Minister. The 9 who have not yet been named are said to be highly dangerous and probably mentally unstable. [read...]
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Brexiteer with rotten tooth denies wanting ‘no-anesthetic’ extraction
‘I am fed up with idiots suggesting that I would prefer not to have any anaesthetic,’ said Jake O’bree-Smug, a long-suffering dental patient who is desperate for freedom from further pain. ‘Obviously I would prefer the extraction to be as painless as possible.’ [read...]
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The Sun ‘unlikely’ to rise without further mandate, says Government
Following complaints that nobody voted for a sunrise, the Government has agreed to mandate that the Sun will not rise until Parliament mandates it. Opponents of the decision point to the ‘fact’ that the Sun provides heat and light for the country, [read...]