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‘Please stop killing each other in my name, I don’t exist,’ clarifies God
‘I don’t care what you call me – Allah, God, Yahweh, Vishnu, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whatever – It really doesn’t matter because I don’t exist’. [read...]
Tagged news parody
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Sodor abandoned as self-aware steam trains finally take over
‘Soon they’d learnt how to drive themselves, even mine their own coal. I had the world’s most efficient railway – but then they got bored’. [read...]
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Long-term couple say Valentine’s Day was ‘nothing special’
A couple who used to do really cool romantic stuff on Valentine’s Day in the early stages of their relationship, have admitted they did ‘fuck all’ last night. This seems to back up relationship experts’ theories that the much hyped day of love is really just a ‘bunch of arse’. [read...]
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I’ll wait for the vaccine made from Matt Hancock’s tears’, say Brexiteers
Downing Street had attempted to get doses of the Oxford vaccine labelled with the Union Jack and packaged within a stick of Blackpool rock. [read...]
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Kindle launches dog-eared e-book for reluctant e-readers
Kindle have revealed plans for their next generation platform aimed at traditional book readers who have so far proved to be resistant to the increasingly popular portable e-book reader. [read...]