Returning from the dead this Easter Sunday, Jesus was troubled to find most shops he needed to stage a convincing comeback shut. Ignoring the obvious irony, he managed to cobble together an outfit out of onion bags and old newspapers [read...]
The ex-UKIP leader is threatening to campaign throughout the country, which by ‘country’, he means a photo opportunity with every purveyor of craft ale he can find. Sadly this has meant that nearly 1,000 UK pubs shut last year, [read...]
A somewhat truculent deity has told his faithful that the reason their prayers are falling on ‘stony ground’, is that he was trying to save up for Glastonbury tickets. His preferred invocation would be a cheque made out to ‘cash’ or Nectar-points of the Gods. [read...]
“And what’s so clever about taking a photo of some graffiti or an abandoned bike?” [read...]
“We shared a weird half-smile as I had flashbacks of inviting them to our cottage in Cornwall that we don’t have, before accidentally kissing her full on the lips at the end of the night.” [read...]
