The Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) has suggested that by monitoring the ‘alcohol induced’ ramblings of the ‘average Geordie’ in a ‘drunk tank’ Ministers could be provided with a range of inspired policy ideas. [read...]
Through a diet of Peter Mandelson and regular exercise – running from his socialist principles – Labour’s deputy leader has revealed he is clear of all leftist tendencies. A slim-line Mr. Watson told reporters never again would he succumb to starchy trade unions or refined nationalization [read...]
Scientists have found traces of, what they believe to be, the world’s most cringe-worthy piece of televisual schmaltz. The main culprits are a choreographed missed cue by Tess Daly, a pun involving the offside-trap by Gary Lineker or Jo Coburn smiling to camera. [read...]
Barclays’ business customers will now be able to log on by scanning the unique pattern of their veins; or as one banker described it as ‘…the fast track to their life essence’. Slumbering in their coffins by day, [read...]
‘I don’t know how they do it at that price.’ [read...]
