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Posts Tagged ‘news parody’

Farage accuses left foot of being left wing

the choice is simple, ask yourself; 'Do I need this?'Nigel Farage has vowed to shoot himself in the foot after accusing it of being ‘a socialist’. UKIP supporters were concerned when Mr Farage started addressing his left foot as ‘Michael’ and accusing it of treachery. He also addressed his right foot as ‘Margaret’, stroking it lovingly in an interview on Breakfast Time.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2015
More from Politics



Most emails now delivered by van

In a shocking waste of resources, figures released today suggest that £103bn of online shopping has fuelled a boom in transit sales. Rather than use virtual means to buy and sell goods, many entrepreneurs are relying on vans to transport their messages and have even resorted to using carrier pigeons to send invoices.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Teachers to talk about their divorces at primary school level

women(men) + home + life = hate + hate + hate + despairChildren as young as five will now be given compulsory lectures on their teachers’ domestic hell as Divorce Education is made compulsory in primary schools. The move comes amid fears children are accessing material such as Don’t Tell the Bride and One Born Every Minute, as well as websites depicting couples in healthy loving relationships, and getting a skewed impression of what marriage is really like.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2015
More from Education



Nicola Sturgeon to ride joint-favourite ‘Mister Ed’ at Scottish Grand National

‘I rode Mister Ed on Thursday’ said Sturgeon. ‘He didn’t seem to like me riding him so hard at first. Then I explained to him that if it came down to a photo-finish with the joint-favourite ‘Dangerous Dave’ he would need my help to win and he soon got the bit between his teeth.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Boutique hotel wins a style over substance award for its impractical bathrooms

A trendy London hotel has won a prestigious award for the innovative design of its very pretty but utterly useless bathrooms. Described by judges as ‘a superb combination of good looks and frustrating lack of usefulness’, the Eighty Four Hotel in fashionable Bethnal Green has been awarded The Kelly Brook Prize for Beauty Without Function.

‘We are very proud to receive this recognition of our efforts to make our hotel look impressive on-line’ said the hotel proprietor, Mr Theo Whitehall. ‘Even if it is at the expense of our guests’ comfort and convenience.’

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2015
More from Lifestyle