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Posts Tagged ‘news parody’

Internet to be deleted

Faced with overwhelming numbers of cat pictures and unchallenged pseudo-political rants in the form of blogs, the brains behind some of the biggest websites in the world have decided that enough is enough. They will delete everything from the Internet at the turn of the new year and require users to start again from scratch.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2014
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Marketing exec fired for Halloween ‘lack of imagination’

Don Price is the ex-Marketing Manager of The Norwich Broom Store today having lost his job for failing to cash in on the Halloween bonanza. While every other shop in town had managed to find a Halloween angle to boost sales, Price could not come up with anything.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2014
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Everyone now officially an artisan

rustic professionalism, everywhereFollowing the revelation that printers, blacksmiths, cigar pen makers and even quilt rack makers have joined bakers, butchers and cheese makers in using the term ‘artisan’, experts have ruled that absolutely anyone is free to claim to be one. The only conditions are that they have to be unemployed marketing graduates and are not funneling over a thousand tonnes a day of cement powder and cows’ vaginas into a mixer and hoping for the best.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2014
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Government to cut emergency services ‘to stop people needing help’

‘Pastimes such as candlelit dinners, smoking cigarettes while asleep and drying your shell-suits over the paraffin heater will become life-threatening adrenaline sports’ said a Downing Street spokesman.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2014
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Scotland votes in favour of merger of Brian Coxes

The new single Cox will play British heavies in middlebrow American action movies, grin at how wonderful science can be and exercise increased tax raising powers, sometimes simultaneously.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2014
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