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Posts Tagged ‘news parody’

Asda introduces ‘slapping-friendly areas’ for shoppers with small children

won't be beaten on price, service or anything other than aisle 29 Asda is to create ‘slapping areas’ where frustrated parents can hit their children without causing offence to other shoppers.

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Posted: Aug 14th, 2014
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Man so unpopular even Groupon refuses to email him

His anxiety was further heightened by his discovery that even Nigerian bank scammers were unwilling to accept £10,000 from him.

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Posted: Aug 5th, 2014
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Israel shuns peace deal in favour of a good PR firm

Mr Happy Tank wants you to come out and playThe Israeli Knesset has rejected the Gaza peace proposal put forward by US Secretary of State, John Kerry, in favour of a modest 12-hour truce – purposely designed to be long enough for Israeli soldiers to get a good night’s sleep, identify new targets and reload their missiles. A spokesman for Prime Minister Netanyahu has made it clear that what is really needed is a ‘…tabulated program of action to earn public understanding and acceptance’ codenamed ‘Turd Polish’.

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Posted: Jul 27th, 2014
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America’s smokers mourn last man to make smoking cool

too cool‘The last guy capable of making smoking appear cool, attractive and generally badass.’

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2014
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Beach loses Blue Flag status following ‘blue flag eyesore’

Beach staff were told to lower the flag and hide it somewhere as the sight of it was an ‘eyesore at odds with the natural beauty’ of the bay. Council staff were said to be disappointed at the ruling, but hoped the move would lead to the beach being designated an EU ‘Flag Free Zone’, and be eligible to display the official pennants.

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2014
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