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Posts Tagged ‘news parody’

Sinners brawl in churches over Black Sunday discount deals on penance

There were chaotic scenes in Catholic churches across the UK yesterday as repentant sinners sought to take advantage of Black Sunday deals on absolution. As many churches opened their doors at midnight scuffles broke out when crowds fought their way towards confessionals to secure deals which saw penance slashed to bargain levels for one day only.

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2014
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European immigrant report ‘tarnished with facts’ say UKIP

The revelation by University College London that European immigrants have contributed £20 billion more in taxes than they have taken in benefits has been criticised by Nigel Farage as ‘blighted by facts,’ adding, ‘just because it proves the opposite to what we’ve been saying ignores the simple fact that British people don’t like Europeans.’

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Posted: Nov 6th, 2014
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Benedict Cumberbatch to win/star in everything and marry your wife

Benedict Cumberbatch is to run the whole world, after appearing in all television programmes and securing world peace, it has emerged.

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Posted: Nov 6th, 2014
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Home Office asks for advice on how to fix an inquiry

something slightly skewy found on Marsham StreetWith regret Home Secretary Theresa May has conceded that she has run out of ‘dodgy’ candidates to appoint to chair the Inquiry into Historic Child Abuse. Having lost Baroness Butler-Sloss and now Lord Mayor Fiona Woolf to conflicts of interest, Mrs May has been forced to ask betting syndicates, investment bankers and FIFA on how best ‘to rig’ an inquiry. Fortunately having managed to delay the proceedings for a further three months, it is hoped that those accused will have had ‘…plenty of time to shred any incriminating documents’.

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Posted: Nov 1st, 2014
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Awesome Welles ‘not that Awesome’ according to undergrad essay

I really don’t see why we have to study this guy, who, despite his name, couldn’t even spell ‘Awemome’ anyway. And he ended up doing TV commercials for sherry, which is like what my great aunt drinks? And she lives in Frinton?’

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Posted: Nov 1st, 2014
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