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Posts Tagged ‘news satire’

New research cast doubts on the story of the tortoise and the hare

Scientists at a West Midlands University have expressed doubts about the story of the tortoise and the hare, after reproducing the race under laboratory conditions. The researchers recruited a variety of species of tortoise and hare and raced them over distances from 10 metres up to 10 miles. In every single case the hare won and the tortoise had barely finished crossing the start line.

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Posted: Nov 23rd, 2014
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X-Factor viewers thrilled by ‘Joy Division week’

Bernard Sumner was guest choreographerRemaining finalists sought to impress with interpretations of the influential Manchester miserabilists.

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Posted: Nov 23rd, 2014
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Derbyshire man devises fellatio voucher scheme after breastfeeding initiative

Gary Prendergast, a 32 year old Derbyshire man, has successfully introduced a fellatio voucher scheme into his marriage.

The scheme follows on from a controversial Government health program in three areas of Derbyshire to persuade mothers to breastfeed by offering them shopping vouchers of up to £200.

‘After giving birth the wife suddenly became reluctant to go down in her usual way saying things were different now that we’d got the bab. So when she started getting vouchers to suckle the little nipper I realised that some kind of incentive was the best way forward if my little nipper was to get some attention too.’

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2014
More from Health



Emily Thornberry goes into standby mode after sending last image

Labour MP Emily Thornberry has shut herself down and gone into standby mode after a sudden loss of power. Labour Party Central say that they lost contact with Thornberry on Friday shortly after travelling to Rochester and believe the shut-down may be a result of having spent too long in the shadow cabinet after a long political journey.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2014
More from News In Brief



NASA space probe finds evidence of ‘more bloody stars’

even the spacecraft's had enoughNASA today announced an end to all space exploration after the latest set of photographs taken by its Voyager 1 spacecraft, currently exploring the Kuiper Belt on the very edge of the solar system, showed nothing but a bunch of stars that look virtually indistinguishable from those viewed from Earth.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2014
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