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Posts Tagged ‘news satire’

Middle East Conflict resolved by a group hug

‘It’s all so silly really when you think about it. It’s only religion, history and land; what’s to fall out about?’

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2014
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Stations of the Cross closed – replacement buses brought in

Stations 6 and 7 of the Cross, currently closed for refurbishment, will not be ready for use this Easter due to unforeseen problems with sub-contractors.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2014
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Schoolboy poised for historic walk to school attempt

Land Rover on standby in case of emergencyEight-year-old Nigel Williams from Maidenhead will tomorrow step into his family’s history books when for the first time he will attempt to walk alone along the three hundred-metre route from his home to school.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2014
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Fathers unable to bond with their kids without shared Star Wars knowledge

A study of young parents has revealed that new fathers are unable to relate to their children without a shared knowledge of the Star Wars universe, with many refusing to take part in their upbringing until they have at least a basic understanding of ‘The Force’. Furthermore, parental bonds have been harmed over disagreements regarding the validity of the prequels and inclusion of Jar Jar Binx within the saga.

Fathers have been accused by women’s groups of putting their own nostalgia for the popular movie series before their responsibilities as a parent. In response, Fathers for Justice have taken to public buildings dressed as Batman, Spiderman and various other Marvel and DC characters to demonstrate the many other franchises they are willing to embrace.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2014
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Cardiff complain to League that Palace knew in advance that they were shit

Cardiff City have sent a 5-page letter of complaint to the Premier League arguing that their 3-0 defeat at the hands of Crystal Palace in early April should not stand. The Welsh club claim to have firm evidence showing that Palace staff knew in advance that Cardiff were shit. Lawyers for the relegation threatened club allege in the letter that Palace boss Tony Pulis had watched Cardiff City play in the run up to the fixture and had even watched them a bit on Match of the Day the previous week.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2014
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