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Posts Tagged ‘news satire’

New chapter of Plato’s Republic discovered, introduces concept of ‘tax’

Archaeologists working on a site just outside Athens have discovered what they believe is a hitherto unknown chapter of Plato’s seminal work ‘The Republic’, a guide to the structure and governance of an ideal state. The discovery has sent shockwaves through the philosophical community, particularly in its description of a concept Plato calls ‘tax’.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2015
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Study reveals bass players ‘every bit as dull as golfers’

First results show categorically that bass players exhibit almost exactly the same level of crowd-pleasing charisma usually found in golfers.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2015
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MPs to wear sackcloth and ashes in penance for pay rise

With outrage over their proposed 10% pay rise growing daily, Britain’s MPs have reached a cross-party consensus to wear coarse, ill-fitting sackcloth tunics and cover their heads with ash, in an effort to show due contrition for their £74,000 annual salary.

‘Considering that members of the public would be lucky if they got even a 1% pay rise, it is important for us to assure our constituents that we are receiving our inflation-busting increase with extreme reluctance’ Parliamentary Standards Commissioner Derek Corbright told a packed House today. ‘Publicly debasing ourselves as we pocket our bulging pay packets will go a long way to assuage the anger of those hard-pressed families as they struggle on the breadline without the benefits of a second home or a seat on the board of a multinational corporation.’

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Posted: Jul 18th, 2015
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Man called Tim elected to something

A man called Tim has been elected to something. Tim told a packed Vauxhall Corsa: ‘Hi everyone, my name’s Tim, and I am pleased most people voted for me, and if you voted for the other fella, well c’est la vie. That’s politics. It is politics isn’t it? Because I’m also up for being on the allotment committee.’

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Posted: Jul 18th, 2015
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Home cinema reaches new levels of realism with revolutionary ‘obtrusive head’ technology

Expands in response to tuttingIn the latest move in the technology battle to bring the full cinematic experience to the comfort of consumers’ sofas, TV manufacturer Samsung has upped the ante by launching a home cinema system that comes complete with a large head that remains strategically positioned in the centre of the viewer’s eye-line throughout the viewing experience.

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Posted: Jul 18th, 2015
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