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Posts Tagged ‘news satire’

Silvio Berlusconi off to Iceland after hearing about Bardarbunga action

The frozen-faced former Prime Minister of Italy, Silvio Berlusconi, jetted in to Reykjavik late last night in a state of high excitement expecting a bout of sexual gymnastics for the elderly.

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Posted: Aug 30th, 2014
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Love doctors ‘working longer hours than ever’

Oooh! Carry on MatronThe NHS has come under fire after a Panorama programme showed that it is ‘systematically failing’ lovesick Britons by cutting the number of ‘leurve’ doctors trained to deliver emotional and erotic first aid.

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Posted: Aug 30th, 2014
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Reality TV needs to be more inclusive for Eton & Oxbridge graduates

A Social Mobility Commission study has discovered that those who really run the UK are woefully under-represented on the only thing that matters to the British public – Talent Shows. As a new season of the X Factor begins on Saturday, Simon Cowell has been forced to admit that very few senior diplomats, civil servants or ‘people like Steve Brookstein’ will be appearing on the programme.

While small elites, educated at independent schools, still dominate the business and political world, they are being excluded from trying to pronounce Cheryl Cole’s new surname. A Child Poverty spokeswoman said: ‘An infant born to millionaire parents, regardless of ability, can expect to run a major corporation or political party but they will never get the chance to meet Ant & Dec. This is wrong. It’s just wrong. Social mobility should be for everyone, not just the Shanes and Chers of the world.’

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Posted: Aug 29th, 2014
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TV magician’s career hanging by a thread as it’s revealed he can’t fly

A dynamic young magician has stunned fans by revealing he can’t actually fly, levitate or cut people in half and put them back together. He’s asked for several hundred more tricks and illusions to be taken into consideration. Fans have taken to social media to express their disappointment and question his ethic and morals.

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Posted: Aug 29th, 2014
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EU to limit the ‘vast emptiness of space’ by 2017

Buoyed by recent success in banning sale or import of all useful vacuum cleaners from September 2014, EU leaders are setting their sights higher from 2017.

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Posted: Aug 29th, 2014
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