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Posts Tagged ‘news satire’

Tooth fairy moving onto kidneys

pound left under dialysis machineWith half of the UK’s eight-year-olds suffering from tooth decay, all gossamer-winged withdrawals will now focus on harvesting undamaged organs. Children can now expect to wake with significant surgical scarring in the abdominal area, problems filtering urine and a pound coin under their pillow ‘for their troubles’.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2015
More from Health



Islamic State leader remains calm over sub-standard mayo sandwich

Although specifically asking for no mayonnaise on the sandwich he ordered yesterday evening following a long, stressful day, Islamic State leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was disappointed to find that someone had not paid enough attention to his orders and completely drenched the whole thing in sauce.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Local man mortified after waving at the wrong person

Desperately trying to save face after waving to a woman he mistook for an old friend he hadn’t seen in a while, local man Gerard Thompkins walked right by the confused stranger as nothing had happened, while also taking his phone out of his pocket and starting a completely fictitious conversation as an extra cautionary measure.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Pope/Bear hybrid found in Vatican toilets

Scientists confirmed yesterday that the hairy creature found squatting under a washbasin at St Peter’s was one of two escaped ‘Papa-Ursus’, the world’s first creatures to combine both papal and ursine DNA.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2015
More from From The Archives



Rocketing private school prices spark fears of elitism

best education comes in small packages - usually brown envelopes stuffed with cashA report showing that Private School fees are at an all-time high has triggered fears that the institutions could become ‘elitist’ and ‘against the principle of equality of opportunity’.

New analysis shows that, because of rising demand from Middle Eastern oil barons, Russian political exiles and South American drug lords, school fees have, on average, trebled in the past thirty years; pricing out all but the richest from access to top rated schools.

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2015
More from Education