NewsBiscuit

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Posts Tagged ‘news satire’

Elderly woman has a fall

In front of an audience of millions, a frail 56 year old woman collapsed onto a nubile dancer – impaling him on a pair of spiked breasts. While the O2 crowd were shocked to see the young dancer bleed to death, the elderly Madonna Louise Ciccone survived the incident thanks the elasticity of a body made solely from silicone, collagen and an inflated ego.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2015
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Politicians ‘not guilty’ of providing governance for votes‏

In a week when two ex-Foreign Secretaries have been accused of corruption, many around Westminster were gratified to discover that no politician had ever done ‘a day’s work’ in exchange for a parliamentary salary.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2015
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BBC lose Operation Yewtree franchise to Sky

In a day of frantic bidding, Sky has won exclusive rights to Operation Yewtree raids, wresting control from the BBC. The move has won especial approval from the South Yorkshire Police Commissioner, who stated that his officers ‘were looking forward to working closely with Sky.’

In a separate statement officers from Operation Yewtree praised the BBC for its ‘unstinting professionalism’ and insisted that most Yewtree officers would ‘probably continue to purchase a TV Licence.’

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2015
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Greece applies for a student loan

largin' it!Greek Finance Minister Yanis Varoufakis fears that an EU bailout extension may not cover the cost of his dream to study Media at university. Although his country’s debt is running at 175% of GDP, a spokesman for Mr Varoufakis said he is also keen to fund three years of film watching, the opportunity to swim in a fountain and to ‘put a traffic cone on local statue’.

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2015
More from World News



David Cameron no longer allowed to work from home

Despite claiming 10 Downing Street is more of an office than his family home, HR officers have discovered the PM spends most of his days watching Netflix and playing with his cat instead of running the country.

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2015
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