NewsBiscuit

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Posts Tagged ‘news satire’

Poshmerga forces take Harrogate. Declare balsamic law.

After a day of heavy fighting, the new middle-class terror group has proclaimed itself ruler of Harrogate, Ripon and Knaresborough. A ‘Poshmerga’ spokesperson, identified only as ‘Debbie from Marketing’ said they were now consolidating their position, but a column of Range Rovers was observed this afternoon, headed towards Skipton.

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2014
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Parliament rushes through soccer-style January UKIP transfer window

Nigel Farage was today sensationally wrong-footed as the UK parliament passed legislation to only allow defections from the main political parties to UKIP during the same timeframes as current English football transfer windows.

As the next football transfer window is from 1-31 January next year, UKIP defections will only be allowed during the same period.

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2014
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Government raises UK bullshit threat level to ‘severe’

The UK’s bullshit threat level has been raised from ‘substantial’ to ‘severe’ meaning that the possibility of impending bullshit is highly likely.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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Here is the forecast for the iCloud

Wonder whether that iCloud is going to leak tomorrow and ruin that special wedding?
.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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Moyes takes Fellaini on loan to help out around house

In a surprise transfer deadline day move Manchester United have agreed to let midfielder Marouane Fellaini go out on a season long loan to the their ex-manager David Moyes.

‘I’ve worked with Marouane at two clubs’ said Moyes today ‘and I’ve always found him to be a very useful. The fans at Manchester United don’t seem to appreciate him so I thought he might like to join me for a loan-spell and help with some odd-jobs about the place.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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