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Posts Tagged ‘news satire’

Campaign to save Windows 9 gains traction

Protesters from all over the globe are converging on Microsoft offices, computer repair shops and internet cafes to state the case for Windows 9. ‘It’s a pro-life issue,’ said one protester. ‘It may be malformed, prone to crashing, buggy and utterly useless,’ said another, ‘but look at the gene pool,’ he added. ‘I’ll have a gap on my shelf,’ said a middle-aged man sporting an anorak.

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2014
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Computer scenes must be ‘realistic in films’ says EU

EU rules coming into force in the New Year have angered movie makers. From next year actors are not going to be allowed to ‘just switch on’ a computer; instead it has to go through the usual start up scripts, hang, rebooting and then inform the actor that update 1 of 125 is being installed. ‘We think it will add additional tension into plotlines as the hero waits for Adobe Acrobat to reinstall’ explained one EU policy maker.

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2014
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Henry VIII may have lied on his Match.com profile

may have 'a bit of a past'Sixteenth-century ladies are being warned against answering online personal dating ads from kings of England after a woman married a man she met online, only to find that he had been married five times before.

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2014
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Saying ‘Cheryl Cole’ three times will kill you, confirms security firm

Our Cheryl amourCheryl José de la Concordia García Márquez Ann Fernandez-Versini, or ‘Coley’ for short, has been identified as the UK’s ‘most dangerous online celebrity’.

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Posted: Oct 2nd, 2014
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Connect Four to be next big movie

Following on from the announcement that Tetris is to be made into a movie promoters are talking up the whole game genre. ‘We’ve had the Lego movie, Tombraider and now Tetris; we’re thinking about the games that made us feel good growing up,’ said Ralph Allison of Miramax Studios. ‘Think Rubik’s Cube the movie, Snakes and Ladders parts I, II, III & IV,’ he said, adding, ‘then there’s tic tac toe which could rejuvenate the tap dancing genre. We’ve got Brucie lined up for a cameo on that one.’

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Posted: Oct 2nd, 2014
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