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Posts Tagged ‘news satire’

Tragedy shows that gun skills should be taught in kindergarten, if not the womb

The tragic death of a firearms instructor at the hands of an unskilled 9 year old girl reinforces the need for early gun education, say experts. ‘I’m shocked that she was only getting her first experience at nine’, said Jake Hacker of the NRA. ‘What were her parents thinking?’

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2014
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Cult of Cthulhu surprised by progress of ice summoning ritual

The ‘Doomsday cult’ worshiping the Elder God Cthulhu have expressed their surprise and delight that so many are participating in their attempt to release their master from his watery prison.

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2014
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Secret Service boss sacked for spending too much time looking out of window

Is it a sacking, or a double-bluff, counter bluff, triple bluff? Nope. He's actually gone.A senior manager at MI6 has been sacked for spending the majority of his working day standing looking out of the window in a wistful manner. The man known only as ‘B’ is believed to have angered security chiefs by allowing vast amounts of important paperwork and emails to build up while the air in his office hung heavy with a vague feeling of regret and loss.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2014
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Nigel Farage’s selection in jeopardy due to an allergy to real ale‏

UKIP members in South Thanet have been thrown into disarray by the unexpected hypersensitivity to unpasteurised beer of their frontrunner for the 2015 general election. Having quaffed over 20,000 pints on the election trail to appear as an ‘everyman’ to voters, Mr. Farage has now become riddled with hives every time he swallows a mouthful of Bishop’s Cock.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2014
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IS look to Satchi & Satchi for PR

Mohammed Ahmad, head of Public Relations for Islamic State has admitted that his department isn’t performing as well as he expected. ‘I felt the timing of the name change from ISIS to IS was a mistake, plus I was gutted when my favoured choice of rebranding name, Consignia, wasn’t available’ he said.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2014
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