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Posts Tagged ‘news satire’

Home cinema reaches new levels of realism with revolutionary ‘obtrusive head’ technology

Expands in response to tuttingIn the latest move in the technology battle to bring the full cinematic experience to the comfort of consumers’ sofas, TV manufacturer Samsung has upped the ante by launching a home cinema system that comes complete with a large head that remains strategically positioned in the centre of the viewer’s eye-line throughout the viewing experience.

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Posted: Jul 18th, 2015
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Alan Sugar ‘intake’ should be halved

Scientists have recommended cutting our media exposure to millionaires with their own reality TV show and love affair with an under-performing football team. Advisers on nutrition say that by exceeding our 5% of daily televisual Sugar, budding entrepreneurs will believe success comes with no overheads, no VAT and a ‘blagged’ interview with Claude Littner.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2015
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Sacked librarians going feral

Thousands of librarians sacked as part of Operation Austerity are creating havoc on the streets of Britain. The incidents are modest at the outset – some aggressive tutting, an occasional stare at a noisy neighbour – but quickly escalate into a frenzy of violence and sexual excess.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2015
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Former BNP leader denies kebab habit caused fat blockage in Welsh town

Former leader of the British National Party, Nick Griffin, has denied reports that the fat blockage causing a problem in the sewers of his adopted town of Welshpool is down to his takeaway habit.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2015
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Father discovers hallway closed for two months for Summer Playtime

After a council of 8 year olds voted to spend the summer playing at Martin’s house, Martin’s dad Pete has been informed his hallway will be out of action for the next two months.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2015
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