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Posts Tagged ‘news satire’

Public warned not to download naked photos of Steven Seagal

it'll ruin your dayFear has gripped online users who may have, in a furtive attempt to view intimate erotica of Jennifer Lawrence ‘before their family comes home’, inadvertently downloaded explicit images of Hollywood’s favourite martial arts veteran, ironic Buddhist and poster-boy for Cuprinol®. Although a sprightly 62, most teenage boys or frustrated husbands would admit that Mr. Segal’s squinty-eyed leer is not quite the same as a gyrating Kim Kardashian.

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Posted: Sep 2nd, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



Will Self claims he could have written Kate Bush’s songs – ‘only better’‏

Having already dismissed George Orwell’s contributions to twentieth century literature, as ‘mediocre’, Mr. Self has humbly explained why other artistic icons are not worthy to be considered a genius. To this end, the 6′ 5″ Playboy journalist has announced his plans to tour with an album of his own compositions and prove that he is ‘…the greatest female singer-songwriter of his generation’.

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Posted: Sep 1st, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



Cameron raises terror threat level from ‘Boring’ to ‘Arms industry needs sales’

Some members of the public have found the whole process strangely reminiscent of ‘…pretty much every time a Government wants to justify going to war’. One déjà vu victim said: ‘It’s odd the things we are supposed to be scared of. The UK sells Weapons of Mass Destruction to the Middle East for decades – all is calm. Saddam Hussein pretends to have some – the shit hits the fan.

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Posted: Sep 1st, 2014
More from News In Brief



Man still being studiously ignored in room full of elephants

Despite hovering by the peanuts and desperately trying to make eye contact, Dave Harris is still finding it hard to get noticed by the largely elephantine occupants of The Room.

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Posted: Sep 1st, 2014
More from News In Brief



Nick Clegg to use everyone’s paternity leave next year

another great idea!Anticipating he will have a lot of ‘free time on his hands’ after the next election, the Deputy Prime Minister has volunteered to provide round-the-clock support to all new parents. The Liberal Democrat’s’ manifesto will pledge that Mr. Clegg will stay with couples for up to six weeks after the birth of their child; providing nappy changing, reassuring hugs and amusing anecdotes about proportionate representation if ‘…baby refuses to go to sleep’.

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2014
More from Politics