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Posts Tagged ‘news satire’

Islamic State tweets ‘haters gonna hate’

Hacking into the US military’s Centcom account, hackers working for IS have sent a clear message to the world that ‘Harry Styles is lush’. Using social media, the terrorist organisation has spelt out their commitment to a Middle Eastern caliphate, a continued reign of violence and ‘the spamming of lol catz’.

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Posted: Jan 14th, 2015
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Food banks ‘too big to fail’ warns think tank

‘These banks are at the heart of the nation’s service industry and have come to represent everything this government stands for,’

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Posted: Jan 14th, 2015
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Enoch Powell Pound Shop to close

'easing the economic burden of immigration' since 1968Launched as an experiment to see if mild racism might reverse the effects of the recession, the stores stocked a large number of budget patriotic trinkets and cleaning products, such as Union Jack dishcloths, porcelain bulldogs and 100% pure white spirit.

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2015
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French immigrants ‘fraudulently using alias Charlie’

‘Thank the Lord our security services are monitoring Twitter and found so many of these bastards claiming ‘Je Suis Charlie’ when actually they were called Mo, Ahmed, Mohammed, and even Dave,” said Jacques Le Pen of Liberte, Egalite, Frenchy Only.

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2015
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Health Minister abolishes ‘NICE’; launches ‘NASTY’

Asked what this stood for, the Health Minister looked puzzled and said ‘It doesn’t stand for anything, that’s just its name.’

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2015
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