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Posts Tagged ‘news satire’

International Federation of Accountants to strike off Oskar Groening

The International Federation of Accountants (IFAC) announced today that recently convicted War Criminal and Bookkeeper Oskar Groening will be struck off and told he will no longer be able to legally practice as an Accountant/bookkeeper.

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Posted: Jul 16th, 2015
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NASA blames slow WiFi for delay in Pluto photos

Frustrated engineers at NASA are still waiting for all images to be downloaded from the New Horizons probe due to low bandwidth and network problems in the Pluto area.

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Posted: Jul 16th, 2015
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Vicar enjoys uneventful afternoon tea at middle class couple’s home

request for hobnobs fulfilled without questionWhen Terry and June Donaldson’s 13-year-old son Alexander joined the church choir at St Mark’s in the pretty Devon village of Bovey Tracey, the Reverend Brian Watts feared it was only a matter of time before he was invited to tea. In the event, he need not have worried, because the two hours he spent at the Donaldsons’ house last weekend were perfectly enjoyable.

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Posted: Jul 16th, 2015
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SNP to renounce nationalism in favour of ‘pissing off Cameron’

Political equivalent of 'Glasgow kiss'SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon is set to announce that her party is to formally abandon its goal of an independent Scotland and concentrate instead on ‘really pissing off Cameron and his Tory mates.’

‘Deep down we always knew that independence thing wasn’t gonna fly, especially with Salmond as pilot,’ said Sturgeon at a specially convened meeting of senior party members. ‘But watching the Tories scuttling over the border as if they’re arses were on fire to plead their case was priceless. It gave us a new sense of purpose – making the lives of those posh Southern jessies as miserable as possible.’

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Posted: Jul 15th, 2015
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Hipster to attempt circumnavigation of world on unicycle

A Camden-based graphics designer is to be the first person to travel around the world by unicycle. Asked if he was following in the footsteps of Columbus, Codey Grey said, ‘He’s so mainstream. You’ve probably never even heard of my favourite explorers.’

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Posted: Jul 15th, 2015
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